Hey Folks!
I’ve been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here’s a 20, keep this change.
Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.
The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.
So will AITA if I don’t tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?
As you can see from this thread, people in general will consider you to be the asshole.
But it’s also not your responsibility to tip.
I said “in general”, there will also be people that wouldn’t consider you the asshole if you didn’t tip, I personally wouldn’t. Because I think the only way to change something is to start with personally changing it. The only thing you can personally change is to either not tip or not go somewhere where tipping is expected.
I personally would just refuse to go to places where you’re supposed to tip. I will probably upset people with that policy, and it will make my life harder, but I would not care.
There is basically no reason to ever have to go to a place with tipping. You can always choose to go to a supermarket and buy some stuff, or eat at your hotel, or make something with friends/family. Going to a restaurant with tipping is just convenient for you.
The most important thing for me is to personally live my life as close to my values as possible. This does upset/weird many people out. But I think it’s much preferred to the alternative. If I was in your situation, I’d tell me family that I’ll not be going to any places where tipping is necessary. Coincidentally, I have almost no contact with my family (for similar reasons but not exactly the same situation), because that is such a weird stance for them.