I’m learning that being told “you’re too sensitive” and other such remarks is considered gaslighting. However, as autistic individuals, we are known for being highly sensitive, both with perceptions and emotions. So, I find myself wondering if perhaps I need to consider that I am more sensitive than the general population and accommodate what I see as their insensitivity, dismissiveness, and blame-shifting.
How do you handle being told “you’re too sensitive”?
What do you think would be a healthy response?
I usually tell people that I’m not too sensitive, but simply more sensitive than others like themselves, and that they just don’t want to be considerate because it inconveniences them.
Lots of people get super flustered when that gets stated calmly and without much emotion. The key is not to yell or get emotionally, but to state it very calmly.
That way, they can’t retort with personal attacks and actually have to address what I said. Usually they point out that others are not as sensitive, or that the world doesnt revolve around me. My reply in those cases depends on the situation. It could be something like “That’s true, but I’m not other people, and this noise bothers me. Why is it so important to you to keep making it?”
If it is a family member, I try to point out that this is my home and I would like to be comfortable there, and I would try to figure out how to find a compromise.