I’m sorry you can’t stand it be so, but that’s literally how language works.

I think you wooshed on my joke about the definition of “literally”.

the incredibly petty baby inside me upon reading your initial comment wanted to invent a dish called Sheperds Pie (spelling intentional because I’m a jerk) with steak to fuck with prescriptivists.

I’m all for that! The difference is you know you’re doing it wrong and are choosing to do that, rather than just saying the wrong thing.