More than just the question I want to explain a thought that led me to this topic. How often do we play?
I mean, we are usually entertained, whether scrolling, watching some content, making silly jokes, and shit like that, but is it an actual play?
I was just kind of playing a sort of Q&A game with my wife, basically I was just asking her random questions and recording them in Notes as if it was an interview. It was super fun and we ended up with basically a log full of both funny and interesting questions&answers and intimate stuff. It was just interesting to think about questions and for her to think about answers. We felt pretty connected this time and it costed us 0.00$.
Now, compare that to the usual forms of “entertainment” we usually just “consume”: mindless scrolling interrupted by ads, clickbait videos, movies and series, porn, videogames with set rules and competition, “going out” (which is mostly purchasing a burger or other services). Usually it either costs money (which sometimes means you need to employ someone else for a while) or it has set rules and we do it for some competitive, compulsive interest -like winning something or farming karma.
Idk but all this I previously mentioned makes me feel addicted, guilty, fooled and even dirty 90% of the time, and in the end it is a loss of autonomy. I don’t even really enjoy most of that shit. But when I’m really playing or doing something creatively, I feel genuinely liberated and connected to others, not just relaxed or soothed from whatever impulse.
I just realized this is the kind of stuff I liked when I was falling in love with my wife, having conversations about life, dreams, knowing each other. I also recalled how common was to really play when I was a child. I mean using my imagination, being creative, whether alone or connecting with other people, and I just think socialization and maturity grabbed that away from me. And I am under the impression that before mass media, mass entertainment, etc. play was more common at all ages. Probably the introduction of wage labour also destroyed the habit of playing to a greater extent since of course farm work was not as inhumane as the long hours at factories.
I also think sports are a form of playing, but it’s not quite the same because there is usually an interest outside the play itself (like the pride on winning a competition and stuff) and the set rules means the focus is not in creativity and free expression but in performing, but I think it is a way more autonomous than other forms of entertainment such as watching the NFL or something.
And to finish, think about the next generation, aren’t they playing less than the kids from previous years? They “play” using apps or watching YouTube, and I am also under the impression that physical activity or imagination whether alone or with other kids might be compromised if they are being subjected to highly addictive stuff from an early age.
Just something very concerning to me. I think we should regain control of our activities and it just feels that society today pushes more and more for taking away our so-called free time and selling it back to ourselves into their consumerized boxs. I think we all know that’s fucked and that’s why reddit refugees feel better here without that fucking karma score, without ads, without algorithms fucking trying to make you addicted. I think that fresh air is called autonomy.
Hope you find this reflections interesting, I think I will be cutting those forms of passive/addictive entertainment and replacing it with creative, imaginative activities.
TL;DR just was playing with my wife and felt very liberated and fresh, then compared it to modern entertainment activities and the difference struck me hard, also recalled how as a child played freely a lot more and how younger children are probably just hooked into tablets from an early age and playing less than the previous generations.
In my family, we play a lot together. We play (pen & paper and LARP) roleplaying games with various friends and are rather active in terms of analog (is that the right word? non-digital) offline creativity. Hanging in front of a computer or phone is not our main pastime by any means.
I follow you on the idea that spending too much time online will take something off your humanity. I feel stuffed with candy and slightly ill. So we all, adults and kids, have phone-free meal times together, and take a walk and play some ball games weekends in the evening. This is very important in keeping us together and talking to each other.
On the other hand, my husband and I play video games together in the evening. He has the controler, and does tactics, I keep the health bar monitored and do strategy. The whole family including aunts and nephews all over the republic gathers once a month for the family raid in our favorite online game. That raid is stuff for childrens’ and adults talk for at least a week.
I think one problem with asocial media is that they encourage you to sit still, reading other people’s problems you cannot solve, and all the while you loose your own social contacts and family connections, because you can’t really tell them about what you read online, eh? They usually don’t understand.
Doing stuff together and talking to each other is the most important thing. You get playful and creative all on your own, if digital distraction and silence is gone.
My husband and I play together all the time. We play games together and we also play piano together. It makes our days feel more full and like we’ve really spent time together.
