Recently a question came up in my life for reasons that are probably best explained with ADHD.

While it might appears to be google-able question the answer are all very different, I would like to hear your opinions.

Anyway the question that lead me to the question above is the following “assuming you would have a reasonable expectation to have sex with a person, e.g. you paid a prostitute, and that person would end up having sex with another person instead and you wouldn’t get to do it too, would you be cockold?”

Thanks.

  • TheBananaKing@lemmy.worldEnglish
    19·
    8 months ago

    It’s cuckold, as in cuckoo.

    And it’s specifically a humiliation fetish around watching your partner ‘cheat’.

    As such, it really only exists if you are in a nominally-monogamous relationship where you would generally find it hurtful for them to have sex with someone else.

    In the case of a sex worker, it’d be pretty freaking weird if you were hurt by them having other customers.

    • insufferableninja@lemdro.idEnglish
      15·
      8 months ago

      you’re conflating cuckold and cuckold fetish.

      a cuckold is a man whose nominally monogamous sexual partner is sexually unfaithful. cuckold fetish is deriving sexual gratification from being cuckolded.

      edit to add: cuckold is a very old fashioned word. the more recent form is the shortened “cuck”. As insults go “you and your wife mutually agree for her to have sex with other men, because you like it” wouldn’t really have the same impact as “your wife is having sex with other men without your knowledge or consent, because you are insufficient”.

      • Worx@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
        6·
        8 months ago

        TBF, the sort of people I’d associate with calling someone a cuck are conservatives who aren’t understanding of other people’s links and so would use it as an insult anyway. Similar to “gay” (not a kink, but same sort of idea)

    • Thrower@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
      1·
      8 months ago

      Oh I assure you that I am not but it is also not my question.

      I meant it is some weird misunderstanding that lead to it. Maybe you live in an apartment building and your neighbor has the same name and somehow the prostitute think they are you and the neighbor somehow thinks someone bought him one.

      This is strictly hypothetical.

      I am not into cockolding and I am in a committed non-open relationship and do not intend to do anything sexual with any other person. I am just curious at which point people (maybe people who are into it) would identify something as cockold.

      Edit: I want to add, the “cheating” part is not really cheating as your " around cheat imply, which is kind of at the core of my question. What makes cockolding interesting for these people? How does it work?

      • Worx@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
        5·
        8 months ago

        I don’t think you can be a cuckold (which is how it is spelled) with a prostitute. I think you’re just an unhappy customer. Cuckolding has an emotional aspect and is done with the consent of the cuckolded person (strange as that sounds), otherwise it’s just cheating

        • Thrower@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
          1·
          8 months ago

          Yeah but my example sucks. I am just interested in opinions about what cuckolding is and how it functions, preferably from people who are into it

      • TheBananaKing@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        8 months ago

        Generally the person who enjoys being cuckolded will be involved in making the whole thing happen, so there’s some mental gymnastics going on there, same with as most kink.

        Virtually all kinks are based around deliberately seeking out <bad thing> then allowing it to happen to you, so you can bask in the freedom from fear.

        If someone finds a whip and asks you to hit them with it so that they will feel pain, it’s not exactly assault.

        If someone finds a guy and asks you to have sex with him so that they will feel humiliated, it’s not exactly cheating.

        There’s enough surface resemblance there to push the same emotional buttons (so long as you squint a bit), but it still warrants the scare-quotes.

        • Thrower@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
          1·
          8 months ago

          Sorry if it sounded like I criticized you. I just meant that I am interested in what you described while I don’t know if I agree fully with your description as the general statement that It is. But it is out of love for the human nature and people’s thoughts on it, that I am asking.

          Thank you for your effort and help

  • RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    3·
    7 months ago

    I think of it as the guys who are turned on by humiliation in the context of their partner having sex with someone else. Like if they really like it when she seems to enjoy the other guy more, get off on the whole idea that they are not as good at pleasing her.

    Different from general hotwife stuff, which seems more like they get off on thinking she is near insatiable and they aren’t enough, in a different way, because any one guy just isn’t enough for her.