So I’m thinking along the lines of this (volume warning)
But my two year old just did the same thing while “helping” to feed the dogs. She spilled a few pieces, looked at the mess, and then dumped out the rest of the cup. She exclaimed, “I make a mess” then picked up the pieces, put them back in the cup, and successfully poured it into the dog’s bowl. What breaks in their brain where the task doesn’t go according to plan so they make an even bigger mess?
I think it’s the mom’s reaction that escalates it. If she just said “oopsie nbd”, I don’t think the kid would have spilled it all. In for a penny, in for a pound.
As an adult, I can handle being clumsy, like bumping my elbow or my toe, or spilling. But when I’m trying to be careful, and still screw it up I get really mad. Kids just don’t have a lot of physical coordination so when they mess up despite heroic efforts, it’s really frustrating. It probably feels to them like they’ll never be big enough and strong enough to do it right. Once you’ve messed it up, there’s not much left to lose.