There was also the reality that many tech companies’ leading executives, Bezos included, had reached middle age. Mortality’s inevitable creep was closing in. It seemed unfair — cruel, even — that people who had acquired all that the material realm had to offer might be forced to face a fate so pedestrian as old age and, eventually, death.

Mid-life crises (criseses?) have always been a strange curiosity to me. When I was younger, there seemed to be much more talk about the inevitable mid-life crisis. Typically this crisis was male centred. It often involved men buying expensive new toys such as cars, trucks, motor bikes, boats or doing things such as cheating or chasing younger women. I can’t recall any talk of feminine mid-life crises or any stereotypical responses. Even if there was a typical feminine mid-life crisis response, it seemed to my young perspective that it was heavily overshadowed by the masculine mid-life crisis and it’s response.

It now seems that the mid-life crisis response has evolved to include health and “peak” physical appearance as promoted by social media influencers. I guess this seems like the logical next step. When I was younger, I began to notice a trend in all this behaviour. Many of these men fear death. They are afraid of their aging bodies. They are afraid that other people will notice their aging bodies. They fear they will no longer be respected by other men. They are absolute cowards created by their own insecurities.

Dealing with aging in an aging body is something everyone has to deal with at some point, it’s a completely normal process of life. We humans have the misfortune of excess free time to think and dwell on our aging bodies. For some people, this can scare them into a vicious hunt for the mythical fountain of youth. And if a man can’t find the fountain of youth, then they will chase youthfulness through dangerous hobbies, material possessions, young women and physical fitness. Adrenaline, wealth, status and virility. Combine these things together and you have a vehicle of destruction that leaves behind a hot mess for everyone else to deal with while also influencing and shaping the minds of young boys and men to continue the cycle.

The most bizarre thing about the masculine mid-life crisis is how painfully gay it all actually is. The wealth, the stuff, the young women, the physical appearance, it’s all for other men. It’s a giant performance and they want to be paid in the currency of respect because respect is the secret currency of masculinity. Masculinity is for the male gaze and masculinity has no room for the unmasculine. It’s seriously gay.

And there is Bryan Johnson, a former venture capitalist, who is attempting to achieve his mantra, “Don’t Die,” through a longevity regime that involves a strict diet, going to bed at 8:30 pm, and tracking his nightly erections.

Seriously, what the fuck.

I’m still shaking my head in disbelief from all the penises rockets these dudes launched in their pointless giant dick measuring contest.

From my perspective, separating women from the respect currency of masculinity is one of many aspects that needs to be worked on by men to produce well rounded people. Otherwise we will all suffocate under masculinities endlessly growing ego.