The night before my school week started when I was in high school my cousin had been over and we’d been playing Call of Duty. Now, he had just learned of another word for farting and he kept on saying it while we played. So, naturally, that’s what I thought that word meant.

Next day I went to school and during art class I told my teacher “Ugh, I just queefed. Can I use the washroom?” The whole class heard me and that’s when I found out that queef didn’t mean the passing of ass gas.