For context, I’ve been on the fence about going on HRT.
During my therapy session today, I was talking about some of the fears I have about going on HRT. Up until now, I’ve been trying to ease myself into transitioning because I do have my doubts and I don’t want to rush into the wrong decision.
I’ve been “crossdressing” (what does one call this if they think they’re trans?) on and off for a while now, and I’ve been in therapy about dysphoria for a few months now, but HRT is still a big decision that I didn’t want to influence myself toward if I didn’t need it. I didn’t go by female pronouns, didn’t experiment with names, hesitated to call myself trans until I soul searched a bit more and knew. I think that’s partially due to fear of being ostracized by my family or affected by the horrible legislation attempting to go around in America right now, or really just rushing into something big like that in general.
Lately, I’ve been leaning toward wanting to go on HRT. I’ve been searching for clinics to freeze my sperm and I’ve found a couple of sources for HRT, just to have everything sorted if I decide to start transitioning. Today, when I was going over my fears with my therapist, I just blurted out
“Fuck, if I had gone on HRT when I was 18 then I would just be a woman by now. Dammit.”
Right after I said that, I realized exactly what I had said and what emotions I was actually expressing. I think it took me forever to admit it but I definitely want HRT. I want to be a woman. I’m scared still, in many ways, but I think this is the path for me and I want to embrace all the joys and struggles which come alongside transitioning. So that said, I’d like to ask any of you girls on HRT, what were some unexpected trials and happy moments during the process?
I turn 23 this December, and it would be amazing if I could start HRT before then. It’s doable, I have to hunt down some good sperm banks first because I still want biological kids someday. My main fear right now (and I do apologize to you non-American Lemmy users that are sick of hearing about this) is this damnable upcoming election. I don’t believe that team Trump will go down quietly if Harris wins, but it would ease my mind greatly if I knew I didn’t have to navigate my transition with a 2nd Trump administration breathing down my neck. How are you other American girls dealing with that? I’m almost at the point where I say fuck it all and live my life. So close…
but do I want to paint a target on myself?
Idk. Thanks for reading my thought spew, it helps to get it out in writing sometimes.
I don’t think “crossdressing” is the correct term (tbh I think the entire concept is absurd but that’s aside from the point), a better term would either be experimentation or self-discovery. The goal is to find what makes you feel comfortable and if additional steps would be helpful. As for your last point I’m dealing with it by fleeing the county. I’m not saying you should as well but just in case things go bad you should have a backup plan.
Do you have any fleeing the country tips and tricks for beginners? Fully understand not discussing anything like that, but it is something I’d like to plan for but don’t know how. Thank you for the improved vocabulary, I come from a family that sees trans in a negative light, so I’m really just expanding my ability to describe my experiences in nonbiased ways.
Research what countries will let you in faster, if you have family elsewhere or ancestry in a country with right of return it helps.