I wonder sometimes how it could have worked out if I’d had decent guidance. The prospect of living back under my mother’s glare or having to do homework again feels awfully tiring, though. And I’ve forgotten my locker combination! And my schedule. And where the classrooms are. Fuck, I can’t remember what a secant is!
I would have to fight back for my own vision of life rather than my mother’s. Now that I have the life experience to even have one. Back then I was so aware I didn’t know anything about life and the world. Would she fold, or would she go thermonuclear?
Maybe the butterfly’s wing would be a little different and there’d literally be nuclear war.
Maybe I’d be satisfied to see videos of other versions of myself in other universes and see what was possible.
Say you still get your same kids.
I know the usual answer is to buy stocks, but that seems too easy.
If you were a character in a book, you’d try to stop one of the famous disasters. Conveniently, they always remember lots of details about the famous disasters.
Sometimes I wish I had a time machine just so I could take myself to concerts I missed.
I’d also tell my parents not to move. What a fuck up that did to our lives.
Ah, moving…there was a moment in my early teens when we could have moved, and I sometimes wonder how that could have opened up my life. Of course I didn’t know our finances and had little grasp of what was going on with my mother psychologically.