• Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Who can blame them though. It’s a absolute slog. I should try to read some today. See what I glean.

      Edit: whoa I was completely wrong

      First paragraph this thing goes hard

      And God said, “Let there be light,”a and there was light. 4And God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5God called the light “day,” and the darkness He called “night.”

      He just making night and day.

      Edit2:

      Oh shit, is God a communist?

      Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness,

      Edit3:

      I sense some foreshadowing

      17but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; for in the day that you eat of it, you will surely die.”

      Edit4:

      Oh shit, I seen some people BBQ ribs into pure art but never a whole ass woman.

      21So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he slept, He took one of the man’s ribsf and closed up the area with flesh. 22And from the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man, He made a woman and brought her to him.

      Edit5:

      1Now the serpenta was more crafty than any beast of the field

      Just like a fucking snake? Was the garden of eden like Charlotte’s web?

      Edit6:

      4“You will not surely die,” the serpent told her. 5“For God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

      But like he’s not wrong.

      Edit7:

      “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and every beast of the field! On your belly will you go, and dust you will eat, all the days of your life.

      Fuck you snake.

      Edit8:

      “I will sharply increase your pain in childbirth; in pain you will bring forth children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

      AW SHIT! Ladies, that’s on you.

      Edit9:

      Alright, that’s enough for today. Shits fucking wild. I’m not saying it didn’t happen like all that just we are missing a lot of context here. How about some character development? Was god chill and was all like, “hey man this is my first creation so like I’m still trying stuff out, so bare with me.” Or we’re Adam and Eve just like, “hey creation is great and all but we kinda don’t get the point of rules or understand what it is we are doing here.”

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I blame the combined events of The Green Sahara period ending, and The Bronze Age Collapse. Both they and what seems to be the time period when The Torah was written, seem to have happened within a century or two of each other.

        I have no way to prove it, but I suspect the ending of The Green Sahara period may have caused The Bronze Age Collapse, and both of those events convinced the ancient Israelites to abandon all of the other Cannannite gods, and worship only EL the god of war and death. Then they wrote their apocalyptic fictive, to cover up their true origins. Little hint, ancient Israelite pottery doesn’t have any Egyptian iconography or designs, nor is any of it found in Ancient Egypt. It does resemble Cannannite pottery and includes some Cannannite iconography, and is found in Ancient Israel. Archaeological evidence also indicates that the battle for Judea also never happened. There may have been a Moses like figure, but as far as I can tell, the rest of The Torah and possibly a few more of the oldest books of The Old Testament were created completely out of thin air.

        Once you get to the parts about The Great Censuses of Jerusalem, then we have some archaeological and anthropological evidence to support that some of those people definitely existed, but their actions described in The Bible were exaggerated at the very least.