I have some friends and family in my life and it’s really hard to broach topics like climate change, COVID, and Gaza and what my government’s response means for our lives presently and in the future.
I talk about the unusual weather and it’s too early in the morning to bring up climate change. Can’t talk about surges in COVID infections after dinner because it would ruin the evening.
I’m trying to make plans and take preventative care for safety, but it feels like nobody around me wants to deal with the reality happening around me.
I think I’m holding out hope that these people in my life will take these things seriously if they’ll just see reason, but deep down I know they don’t want to engage with these things either because they’re scared or in denial, or still insulated from the worst of it.
It’s scary. It feels unsafe being around them, and not just for the material reasons like not taking the same precautions with COVID. It’s like how can I trust them to see danger if they can’t even reckon with the current things happening? How can I have a relationship with people who are this indifferent.
I get trying to cope and trying to find enjoyment where there is little to have, but it’s incredibly lonely knowing that this site is like the only space I have to voice my concerns.
If you have made progress in getting people in your life to see reason, what worked? Does just sitting down and laying out these things as a personal concern help?
If you haven’t been able to reach people who are this resistant to real conversation, how did you cope with it? What did you do about it?
I’m not in a level of community that I thought I was and I could use some advice on how to move forward.
You won’t have many friends if you need them to agree with you about everything and be as adamant about said things.
I know some people will see this as abandoning principles, but I disagree. All my close friends know exactly where I stand and unless I’m drunk I won’t go on political rants. For the ones who have known me long enough, they greatly appreciate it lol.
So long as nobody takes an issue with my politics or says something I find heinous, everybody gets along.
I think this is a more necessary approach than some people here realise. While I don’t think anyone has an obligation to be friends with anyone, and I certainly don’t think anyone is obligated to overlook horrible opinions, in the real world there is a very real need to find compromises to bridge the gap of communications with others.
Older people in my life are in denial about a lot of bad shit too, but one has to recognise they think like that for a reason. Typically they’re scared to confront it. My advice in OPs situation is to find different ways to relay your needs and concern - Instead of “this is happening globally and has a billion effects we need to be worried about”, maybe try more of a “I think this will affect me, most notably in this way, and I feel like I/we need to prepare in this way”. If it’s close friends/family, then by all means talk one-on-one and explain “This scares me, and I want to take it seriously”.
IDK, I’m no expert. But OP, in my limited experience, I’ve had luck relating to family members “on their level”, so to speak. Couch your desires and plans in terms and formats that they understand and are comfortable with, even if it’s not totally correct or accurate. Most everyday people are very worried about their bubble of everyday understanding being popped, so the point is to gently extend their bubble of understanding in the right direction, by using terms they “get”. This isn’t about being condescending, this is about improving communication skills for both of your benefits.
And obviously, sometimes, that will all fail and people don’t want to collaborate. In which case your response will anywhere on a spectrum of “never speak to them” to “humor them with lies”, and that choice will be down to their actions and your preferences.