Ramses, solely because he had good taste in free-form jazz.

Akhenaten, you gotta love some who tries to tear down the old system and build something new. Was it dismantled and returned to the old system? Sure, but points for trying. I don’t love that he abandoned dope cool Egyptian polytheism, for a weird worship of the Atun, as a singular god. But you rebel at what is before you, so down with the old gods, up with a new one!

ptolemy, i think it’s a very funny name. otherwise unremarkable tbh but all the kids also having the funny name is a bonus

actually though who doesn’t love Akhenaten

Thutmose III baby. Under him (and his aunt Hatshepsut, who was the real Pharaoh during his first twenty or so years and he was like a military commander for her) New Kingdom Egypt reached its height of power. Dude was a brilliant strategist whose feints and tactics were so amazing that a British general during WWI in the exact same area as one of Thutmose III’s crushing victories (Battle of Megiddo) just followed the exact same tactics and also achieved a crushing victory at his Battle of Megiddo. 3000 years later and his strategy still worked perfectly. That’s pretty impressive.

Otherwise I actually really like the Hyksos. Avaris seemed like a really bustling Bronze Age trading entrepôt that was open to the Mediterranean and its world system in a way that Egypt, even under the New Kingdom, never quite seemed to manage. Akhenaten is also pretty cool, there’s something always attractive to me about crushing the power of a priestly bureaucracy to declare yourself a god.

Not a fan of any of them really, not a single well moisturized one in the whole lot.

Sneferu, founder of the 4th dynasty (by far the greatest pyramid builders). My man built three pyramids for himself, including the first “true” pyramid

Biden

Hatshepsut

So far: Echnaton simply bc he was a huge dick to everybody

Atem

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Down with the monarchy!

Monch.