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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/boringhistoryfan on 2024-11-10 19:45:46+00:00.

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DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/samster4225 in r/antiwork

Carrying My Boss’s Company, Yet Somehow, I’m the One Being ‘Coached’? September 18 2024

BLUF

Joined a small tech R&D firm where the boss was an academic with no real business experience. He tried running the company based on books he read, not real-world knowledge. After laying off half the company, most people quit, leaving just me and the program manager. I’ve been running the whole technical side, but he still micromanages and critiques everything while contributing nothing. Now I’m looking for an exit.

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So, I joined this small tech R&D firm about three years ago. The boss is a former math major who started the company when he was in his mid-20s. Initially, he had a few early successes, winning a handful of awards totaling around $13 million in the first couple of years. When I joined, there were 13 people, and the place had this weird cultish vibe. Everyone called him “the Leader.” He was super into coaching everyone and was always giving guidance. Fine, whatever, I was skeptical, but it seemed like a good opportunity.

During my final interview, he even had a human psych professor (his “mentor”) on the line to assess me. Weird? Yes. But okay.

But as time went on, I realized the entire company was full of yes-men who were enamored with this guy’s “wisdom.” He was always reading business theory books, obsessed with writing, and basically thought academic skills mattered more than actual business skills. Every decision was based on something he read, not on intuition or experience.

He wasn’t a businessman; he was an academic who happened to start a business. Then, shortly after I joined, he made the lead engineer (who he had “coached”) into a proxy CEO while he took a backseat. Problem was, the lead engineer didn’t want to lead, didn’t know how to make decisions, and had to run everything by the boss anyway, who was basically AWOL. The boss was off trying to find investors but couldn’t close any deals because his negotiation skills were purely theoretical and not rooted in any real-world experience.

Fast forward two years, and we’re not winning any awards. Then one day, after a big demo, the boss lays off half the company—no warning, no heads-up—because his advisor told him to just cut everyone loose. The next day, the boss took a two-week vacation, leaving me, the lead engineer, and one senior programmer to do everything. (Yep, seriously.) We busted our asses and won a small award, but then the lead engineer quit. Eight years of loyalty and burnout, and when he told the boss he was leaving, the boss basically said, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

A few months later, the senior programmer quit, too.

So now it’s just me running the entire technical effort. There’s one other person, a program manager, who deals with customers but mostly comes to me for help with anything resembling actual work. She’s been with the company since day one and balances the boss’s complete lack of people skills. (Oh, and yeah, she’s definitely mentioned to me that she thinks he might be on the spectrum.)

For the last six months, I’ve been doing everything: seeking new business, working on current projects, trying to market and move our products—you name it, I’m doing it. Then a few weeks ago, my boss comes to me, all weepy, and says he can’t assure the longevity of my job, so if I need stability, I should find something else. We talk a bit, and I say I’m still here working hard, but nothing changes in his attitude. He doesn’t respect me or the two of us still here; he just keeps pushing and micromanaging.

Yesterday, after a two-hour working session, he tells me he wants to “coach” me. He says, “You have great ownership skills, great technical skills, great leadership skills, but you need to have better directability—I need to be able to tell you and direct you on what to do.” I’m sitting there, nodding along, but in my head, I’m like, *Seriously?! There’s no one left. I’m carrying this company. You aren’t doing the work. Do you even know how to do the work?*

This guy has never worked for anyone. All his decisions come from stuff he’s read, not from actual experience. Who are you to coach me when I’ve got 10 years of real-world, grind experience? And then he goes off talking about the future success of the firm and how he needs more control—control of the two of us who haven’t quit yet!

Oh, and when the other engineers quit, the boss had an “emergency meeting” with me and the program manager to talk about the firm’s future and vision. But it was all theoretical nonsense. He started yelling at us when we asked actual questions about concrete steps we could take. He just wanted to go on about our “values” rather than actually build a plan.

And don’t even get me started on his non-stop requests for reports. He critiques every word, analyzing them to death. I’m like, dude, we could have a two-minute conversation, and I’d answer all your questions, but nope, he needs written reports. Recently, he sent me a feedback document from one of our bids, and he’s like, “Read this and explain it to me.” Dude, it’s not that complicated—just read it. Then, after I explain, he asks for more clarification and proof that I’m right. I’ve been here almost three years, doing everything, and he still doesn’t trust me to understand a simple document?

At this point, I’m just waiting out the interviews I’m in the later stages of because I cannot deal with this anymore.

Update: My Boss Flipped Out After I Quit, and Now He’s Threatening “Consequences” Nov 1 2024

ORIGNAL POST - BLUF*: Joined a small tech R&D firm where the boss was an academic with no real business experience. He tried running the company based on books he read, not real-world knowledge. After laying off half the company, most people quit, leaving just me and the program manager. I’ve been running the whole technical side, but he still micromanages and critiques everything while contributing nothing. Now I’m looking for an exit.*

UPDATE

So after grinding through endless micromanagement and carrying my entire department on my back, I finally accepted a new job offer. I sent my boss an email letting him know I’d be resigning, offering two options: I could finish my high-priority writing project (the one he kept emphasizing) and leave by mid-month, or I could stay until the end of the month to wrap up everything, including the technical project and all the admin/business stuff I’d been handling solo.

My new job was starting on the 28th, so for the past week, I’ve been working both jobs: my new one 9-5 and the old one from 5 p.m. until midnight (or later). I documented everything down to the smallest detail, so he’d have all he needed. I didn’t feel like I needed to spell this schedule out to him since the company always operated on flexible hours.

He replied saying he was disappointed but understood, so I thought we were good. But then he called and let me know just how “disappointed” he was. Apparently, I was supposed to “seek his blessing” before leaving. The irony? When he hired me, he didn’t even want to give me two weeks to leave my last role—he expected me to start the Monday after sending the offer on a Thursday.

From the day I submitted my resignation up until my last day, my boss was mostly AWOL. I kept sending him detailed update emails, asking if he needed anything else, checking in to make sure he’d be set for the transition. But he was nowhere to be found. You’d think he’d be the most engaged at this point—this is his company, and I’m literally the last technical employee left, apart from the program manager, who he actually instructed me not to inform of my departure until the day before I left. I practically had to chase him down to ensure he was getting everything he needed. For someone who’s repeatedly insisted on “control” and micromanaged endlessly, he was oddly disengaged and unresponsive during the only time it really mattered.

So, he schedules a handoff meeting for Thursday at 2 p.m., but I already have meetings for my new job. I suggest 4 p.m., and he gets upset, questioning why I’m still working if I’ve already quit. I clarify that I’m splitting my time for a smooth transition, and he absolutely loses it. I explain it was either this arrangement or leaving him high and dry, but he’s still furious.

Finally, at 4 p.m., he shows up for the meeting—his first involvement in any of the transition. He asks for a full walkthrough of everything. I had already put it all in writing, with flawless documentation, reports, and tutorials, but I run through it anyway. Four hours, no breaks. Every single question answered, everything demonstrated.

When we wrap up, he goes, “We might still need some guidance on things.” I start to say, “For what it’s worth, I never meant to—” but he cuts me off, saying he’s “seeking counsel” on how to deal with this situatio…

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