Guests can’t be trusted with the good stuff, which is why they got the Mad Catz controller.

I got a brand new Xbox many years ago and was excited to play. My friend came over and asked game with me. He ate freaking chicken tenders and fries while using my brand new controller, buttons were immediately sticky and ruined. Tried alcohol, tried cleaning it manually, never worked right again. Wash your fucking hands, people.

You ruined the punchline.