She told me I trauma dumped on her and I was looking to trauma bond. Which I think isn’t true since I disclosed to other dates from the get-go I was bipolar because I am one of those who think it’s better to tell someone right away then later when they get attached. Some people are just not okay dating with mental illnesses and that’s okay. So I prefer to say it in advance.

She said she is disabled too and won’t be capable of taking care of me all the time, I have taken it badly because as I said to her I am not looking for a mother. She told she’s got “nurse syndrom” which is basically in the context of romantic relationships, is a psychological phenomenon where an individual, often a woman, feels a compulsive need to “save” or “fix” their partner. I told her I find that infantilizing I do not want a mother or someone trying to save me, yes I am disabled but yes I can also take care of myself like a grown-up, I am not 6 years old looking for guidance. I said to her I do not feel comfortable pursuing the relationship.

AITA for thinking she’s the one showing red flags?

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    9·
    1 month ago

    I am one of those who think it’s better to tell someone right away then later when they get attached.

    Sounds like this technique was successful and weeded this relationship right on out.

    ooc how early is early disclosure here. Were you still texting? Was this a blind date and you sat down and led with,“Hi I’m _____ and I’m bipolar.” Was there some contextual leadup and you were like oh btw. Are you recently diagnosed and still undergoing intensive treatment? Regardless it sounds like they’ve got some conflicting problems and it’s probably for the best.

    • Caméléon @lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      10·
      1 month ago

      She mentions in her bio she’s got several mental illnesses so I thought it was okay to be like “hey I struggle with bipolar too”. She then said she wasn’t willing to share her mental illnesses… Why put it up in her bio then? My bio doesn’t mention my mental illnesses. But I am still upfront about it to people I start to feel a connection with.