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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-11-22 05:01:11+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/incessantpondering
Originally posted to r/AmIOverreacting
AIO Girlfriend deleted all of our photos together
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: miscarriage, probable infidelity, mentions of suicide ideations
Original Post: October 31, 2024
My girlfriend (25f) and I (26m) are in a rough patch right now after I found her talking to an ex fling behind my back but have both committed to trying to work through it.
During this time of working on us she deleted all of our pictures off of social media. I told her that it hurt my feelings that she did this and she said she deleted many pictures, not just ours, and was considering deleting the app altogether because it felt weird posting anymore.
About two days after this talk she posted several photos of just her and a few of her dog. I feel so juvenile being hurt by this but I have a hard time reading this as anything other than an attempt to hurt me or an attempt to start moving on. It just feels counterintuitive to the process of rebuilding trust and I feel if I bring this up to her she’ll just get defensive and combative.
Relevant Comments
How long had OOP been together with the GF?
OOP: 6 months
Commenter 1: She’s testing the waters. Dump her and move on.
Commenter 2: Yup. She’s done with you homie. Be thankful for the good times yall had, spare yourself and her the hateful talk about wasted time because It wasn’t wasted—your time with her is simply just done.
Think about it… she just got busted for talking to someone she used to f-around with and now she’s deleted your pictures. Don’t let her fool you.
Hit the gym and stay hydrated.
Update: November 15, 2024 (two weeks later)
You guys were right. She was moving on. She was telling me we were working on things, but we needed to take it gradually. I continued trying to work on our relationship for about a week and a half after making my post. I was riddled with anxiety hoping that she felt things were moving in the right direction, texting her nice messages throughout the day, doing small acts of kindness to try to uplift her.
We were planning on moving in together around the new year and she started acting weird about it. Saying things like “you don’t need to rush getting your place ready for me”. We started seeing each other less and less and talking less and less as she told me she needed time and space.
When I did hear from her she would ask me for favors, or money. I had some work done on her car because it was unsafe and I didn’t want anything to happen to her. Paid for her to enroll in college because she was stressed about her life not being on track. She was going to accept $1,000 to help with her last month’s rent. Thank god I didn’t give it to her. She wanted me to help her with a $1,000 hospital bill. Thank god I didn’t.
A few days ago my anxiety reached a head and I logged onto her Instagram. She has been telling people that she is moving back to her home state next month for weeks. She was FaceTiming her ex at 1 in the morning. She was getting everything ready to leave me and having me help, pay for it, and anxious at home missing her.
We’re done now. I collected my things from her place while she was at work and texted her what I found. She got defensive and verbally attacked me for going on her Instagram and going to her place unaccompanied. I blocked her on everything except her number. She blocked my number. I know it’s for the best that I have my answer and that we’re done. But I stupidly still miss her. I think about her all of the time. This hurts.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Side note - What was the reason for wanting to move in so fast? These conversations coming up after 6 months are a bit much. Even if the relationship was perfect, in 6 months you still don’t know the person that well to make those kinds of decisions. I’m sure its worked before, but in general idk. Just my observation
OOP: We got pregnant. We decided to keep it so began making arrangements to start a life together. I was going to let her be a stay at home mom. Unfortunately she miscarried seven weeks into the pregnancy. After the miscarriage she wanted to try again, I didn’t know if I did and she began talking about leaving me because I didn’t know if I wanted children. I spiraled and ended up going to the hospital for four days due to suicidal ideation. I got out of the hospital about two and a half weeks ago and have been dealing with this since.
Commenter 2: It’s okay to grieve the end of a relationship, even if it was for the best. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to heal.
I wish more stories were like this. Short, sweet and fairly mundane relationship issues (by BORU standards) until BAM surprise pregnancy, miscarriage, suicide watch reveals in a couple of sentences.