I’ve read out there that the ratio between men and women on dating apps is pretty awfully skewed. The estimates I’ve read, from a variety of sources all claiming inside insight, put it somewhere at 10:3 men:women on the high end and about half as many women on the low end. Let me tell you, I sure do feel it. I’ve been using some combination of Tinder, Bumble, and Hinged on and off for more than half a decade now and I’ve had two dates total. The first one didn’t have a second date because she sexually assaulted me, the other because she just didn’t feel any chemistry. I can get maybe 5 matches in a month if I’m maxing out my free likes on two platforms every day. The chance they even respond to the first message is like 1/10. So on, so forth. I think I’m a decent catch. I take care of myself. I have a job, hobbies (even ones that aren’t video games/TV!), open myself up to plenty of new experiences, try to listen to others, and was lucky to be born with some conventionally attractive features. Hasn’t helped very much.

This all sucks, but this is nothing that anybody who has used a dating app could tell you. What really kills it all is A) the way this shitty feeling is monetized to sell $30/mo dating app subs that I will not buy on pain of death B) the white-knuckled grip half the women in the south (where I live) seem to have on outdated gender roles C) the lack of any alternatives

Elaborating on that last point, I live about an hour outside of the nearest city of any decent size. I’m in maximum old-white-people-exurb territory. There’s basically nothing for me to meet people my own age, let alone women my age, without an hour’s drive. All but three of my friends are guys, and they aren’t really positioned to introduce me to anybody either. Out of my ~10 closest friends, only one of them has even been in a relationship in the past 5 or so years. I can’t move because I’m at my parent’s house right now and it feels super hard to justify moving out when you’re making less than 50k/yr and have a stable family situation just because I’m sexually frustrated. It’s been so long I feel like I wouldn’t even know how to flirt or recognize flirting even if I landed in a miracle situation anyways.

What do yall think? Am I making too much out of it?

    • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      3·
      9 hours ago

      The big reason I hype organizing is it has a duel dialectic:

      1. You are creating the where for yourself that you can go. You also create the where for others to go. You are creating a gravity that attracts others, both platonic and romantic.
      2. Inspiring others, they create their own where that you can go as well. This multiplies the number of places to go and things to do for everybody.

      It’s definitely hard to see, especially when you first get started, but so very many people yearn for exactly that ‘community’ they will latch on. Community also improves your social network and doubles as your reputation. Very literally you will expand your social circle one warm introduction at a time.

      • SadArtemis [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        1·
        5 hours ago

        This, I must admit I don’t organize politically IRL atm but even just when I am social (I go through phases of very social and very much not, probably/historically) this is how it is.