I get the idea behind it, but in practice the message it’s sending to everyone else is “get in line or else you’ll be posting here if you want to keep using the site”, which feels and functions like a social threat. It will be sending the anxiety of some comrades through the roof and it will be suppressing well-meaning but less well read comrades from speaking their minds in a way that will get any brainworms they have out into the open where they can actually be addressed.

Get out of my mind liquid!!

I think that’s it, I recognise my whole post is “vibe” (I hope i made that clear) and without interviewing everyone we can’t really know but hey at least we are talking about it! Yey look at me go!!

it was always a bit suspicious to me that neurodivergence specifically is/was so widely brought to light here under the lense of ableism and the rest of the very, very wide disability spectrum is kinda just like…eh…ok sure, whatever to most people. at least that’s the impression i got until getting together to make the comm + weekly discussion threads. i was really feeling very alienated too because while i am autistic i also have physical impairments and medical vulnerabilities and any time i’d try talking about those it was pretty much crickets from ppl i had otherwise seen going on about ableism so much. so i feel this. i don’t really understand why it is so hard for the typical demographic here to be consistently principled – well, i do know, but…yeah. i hope there is a way for any of us to make a dent.

it just feels like everyone only cares about this space being for a very small group of white autisitc people and anything that MAY make them slightly uncomfortable (meaning calling out their bigotry or having any expectations for them not to promote bigotry) is more serious a matter than the actual bigotry

glad I’m not the only one feeling this way, especially in the light of the last handful of struggle sessions here

I’m really sorry but I’m not following this comment.

Have I fucked up or offended or insinuated something here?

THANK YOU

deleted by creator

Great comment!

The self-crit comm is not intended to be a space for self-flagellation or verbal punishment from other users.

The space was proposed with pretty much the exact intention you expressed, to be a space for site users to share the process they took to learn and grow from on-site and off-site mistakes or reactionary beliefs, and to help start dialogues for other users to follow along with that learning and growing.

Right now, we’re a little concerned about post removals from the comm potentially worsening things if users are spiraling and self-flagellating. Site moderation is also trying to be extra forgiving across the whole site for the next bit given the often stressful nature of the holiday season, the recent struggle session, and the general reaction to recent attempts to more tightly control content on the site.

See i totally agree with you there, when it first appeared I had the exact same thinking. But over time I think the very act of having it in a specific sub creates a spectator sport of people’s worst moments.

Like if people wanted to self crit then making a post in c/chat raising what happened and having that growth and discussion there sounds great. But having specifically a sub for it feels like it’s takes the organic growth and desire from the user to acknowledge their mistake away. Like instead of them going “I should go on c/chat and talk about this productively to address my mistake” it feels like a signposted expectation. Like have they learnt if they didn’t decide for themselves? Like the initiative is important I feel. But that’s just me literally strawmanning tbh.

Awwh I hate referencing soros like they aren’t here but when I saw their post I didn’t read it and think “good self crit” youre based again. I’ve seen that user a lot and they aren’t a homophobe imo and it felt weird to see them essentially wearing that jacket to start a conversation BUT I’m not a gay man so it’s not my place to decide that or make any comment on it so disregard my opinion there lmao. I dunno like with the incels from last week, I’d feel so bad if one of them felt compelled to self crit. I’d rather they make a c/chat and just have an organic conversation on that they’ve learnt on their own initiative not because c/selfcrit gave them the idea.

And I totally see your points too! I think I’ll probably not engage with it myself but if it does help some positive growth in users then amazing and yes maybe it could be refocused to a more general critique of behaviour vs individuals unless it’s specifically relevant to a personal experience?

I think you’ve put it a lot more concisely than my yapping in the post 💪

Like I waffle a lot cos I’m scared that if I don’t try and vocalise every nuance I’ll get dog piled so to be blunt and maybe a bit reductive: self crit doesn’t feel like reform, it feels like public punishment/bullying behaviour/hazing and any catharsis from having confirmation someone has addressed their views feels soured by the public spectacle of it.

I think I’ll do the same, I try not to block anything if I can help it and just subscribe to ones I like but yeah.

I don’t disagree

I think the question I was really asking is, is it actually productive? People say it is so that’s positive!

Tbh I probably would have suggested the exact same thing and it’s dead easy for me to sit here with hindsight on the outside all is it productive? Lmao.

It’s… not really optional when you have justice sensitivity and feel like shit for not doing the best you can to make up for things. So when the best you can goes too far it can be hard to regulate

Fr and without tone it’s a nightmare trying to tell if someone’s angry or being ironic etc. I fucking hate it.

I regularly worry everyone hates me online because I can’t tell their tone 🙃

I’m mandating a new rule that everyone has their accounts monitored for behaviour unbecoming to a terminally online leftist.

But to be like not ironic for a second I think I bounce between shitposting and wanting to be lovely and chat and be all community the next to the point it exhausts even me.

It’s gotta be an impossible balance to strike or manage.

Only a gunpoint sadly

Next wanker on here I’m personally going to hold at gun point until they can recite the up to date genshin lore to me accurately in Chinese.

I don’t know, tbh I’d never heard of that till just now. Maybe? It feels like me but also am I not just a bit of a narcissist main character hero complex who thinks she knows how people feel, assume she’s right and runs with it and then talks about it? I also have negative confidence so I’ll probably default to assuming it’s a me problem. I worried about the above the whole time I was writing the post.

Full disclosure I think I did, like I don’t find public displays fun but as I mentioned in another comment, self crit feels like a personal journey to me so that’s probably the bias here that makes me feel how I feel about the comm and for me it just pops up in the local comms posts list occasionally and I’m like “oh God what did someone do now”.

Yeah and honestly me talking stuff out in this thread is exactly that! It people genuinely feel it helps then who am I to say otherwise. I mentioned in a few other comments about how I worry having a signpost to reform kinda removes the personal initiative/drive/want to change that I think people need to actually self crit successfully but I recognise that’s pure strawmanning.

That’s fair, I think honestly if it helps then fair play. As long as people are feeling an expectation to do it then great. (She says like the inspector who came to check everything is up to board on hexbear).

Tone check: awwwh thank you and it’s so nice to have chats on here, I’m not dependent on this site for socialising so it’s no big if I leave but the idea of upsetting others and being seen as a bully makes me physically sick so it’s nice to have chats on here without feeling scared that ill make a fool of myself.