• ricochet@lemdit.com
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    1 year ago

    “FUCKED! DOUBLE FUCKED! COCK GOBLIN!” oh no… I can’t remember if I took my medicine today. Well anyway, today is the day I’m going to leave the house. The world is ready for me and I’m ready “TO GET FUCKED!”. Maybe it’s time I call my good friend Matilda and see if she wants to go for a stroll. Take in the breeze, enjoy the weather, “GET FUCKED!”. Shit.

    The phone is ringing. Matilda eventually answers and says…

    • PrettyBlackDress@lemdit.comOPM
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      1 year ago

      “Hey what’s up mother fucker!? You wanna go to margaritaville and get shitfaced!?” I stammer, “Uh, yea FUCKING CLAP THEM CHEEKS BITCH ASS TITTY HOE! Can you come pick me up like right now? FUCK !!!” Matilda yells in a shout, “On my way bitch!”

      I hung up the phone and began to wait for her. SHIT!! I went into my closet and picked out a prom dress to wear FUCK!

      As I put on THE FUCKING GOD DAM DRESS! I realized…