Me: there’s a fire in my house! Please abolish it!

Fireman: Ok, we’re ready! What are you going to replace it with?

Me: what

Fireman: The fire. What are you going to replace it with? Fire has a purpose, you know, you can’t just remove it. The combustion that powers your car engine, that’s fire. And the fire in my woodstove heats my house and keeps my family warm. Fire is doing what it’s supposed to be doing, and in the correct place, at the correct time.

Me: It’s destroying my home. Please abolish it.

Fireman: Do you even know what fire is LOL fire is the rapid oxidation of a material in a self-sustaining chemical reaction, do you REALLY think you can just abolish that? Do you even know what you’re talking about?

Me: I’m fine with it existing just not in my house right now.

House: destroyed

Fireman: Why didn’t you give me a valid replacement??? We could have helped you.

  • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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    5 days ago

    The difference between fire and police is that fire is unnecessary, mindless, and controlled by instinct while police always fill at least some role, are not mindless, and can be communicated with. No non-tribal nation in history has ever been without police except for when absolute chaos has broken out, not the Greeks, not the Romans, not the Japanese, not the Egyptians, not even Polynesians. Many places have had some unique kind of policing system, sometimes publicizing/privatizing/militarizing/communalizing it, but nobody has done things on a completely layperson basis. The cultural revolution had aspects related to what you’re looking for, and it ended up being the second-deadliest human tragedy of all time behind the conquests of Genghis Khan.