Hey, I’m 42. Over the years I’ve thought many things about myself: that I’m trans, born in the wrong body, but that this is just a kink and that I can cope with it via crossdressing, that this is just a phase that goes away… well, I am sure you know that by now, that I was wrong. This feeling does not go away, and I’m contemplating how to face the dilemma to coming out of the closet.

I’ve found that I’ve internalized a lot of homophobia through the society I’m living in, through my upbringing and through my childhood traumas. Recently I’ve started finding ways to accept myself, and strangely to me lately, “sissy hypnos” (not the clearly porn one, but the affirmating ones) really helped. I’m still in the beginning of this process, and lately I care much less about labels, and look forward more to what kind of life I want to live. Any help or insight with that is appreciated.

I also cheer for anybody who can bravely come out and say that they are trans woman. I hope that I reach that stage one day.