Not sure if you outright stated you are autistic in other comments, but I’m autistic as well, I’m guessing I just have more experience with it than you, as I’m 35, and I’m guessing you are younger than that.
Socializing with NTs, and even other NDs can be quite difficult and complicated… a whole lot of people will tell you ‘bro, everyone interprets things exactly like I do’… even though their own interpretations are inconsistent, and they are obviously wrong, different people interperet the same phrase, in the same context differently.
The best you can do is trial and error or learn from gathering lots of data, and try to make some general rules that work most of the time.
Anyone who tells you ‘this will work 100% of the time to ensure great social interactions’ is lying… people are different, their moods change, and social norms change over time.
Human psychology is very complicated. It is an academic field that can be studied… but a whole lot of people just hear and see pop psychology tidbits on apps like tiktok, and end up wildly misusing terms.
This has actually been studied, and aomething like 50% of relationship advice and psychological info on tiktok is just flat out wrong, and about 25% of it is dangerously, greivously wrong.
But anyway, its good that you doing some self reflection is leading you to greater understanding of yourself!
Unironically, if you can afford it, a therapist may be able to help you by directing and advising you in that process of becoming more aware of aspects of yourself, and how they differ from others.
I personally agree with you that being average is fine… but again, the point of a compliment is to make someone feel better than average, to highlight something that makes them execptional.
The reason ‘you look nice’ evoked a negative reaponse is that its indicative, to most people, of a compliment that is not really sincere… it isn’t specific, it isn’t emphatic or strong… most people will conclude that a vague, weak compliment is actually just a person who doesn’t really think there’s anything special about a person, but they want to appear as if they think the person is special.
The weak and vague compliment then backfires and evokes the opposite result because it indicates the complimenter is being duplicitous, disingenuous.
Also as a final note, your last msg in this chain used ‘euphoric’ when I think you meant emphatic.
Euphoric, euphoria, is a sense of overwhelming happiness, joy and/or pleasure… its a state of being of a human or conscious subject.
I don’t think a phrase can be euphoric… it can maybe evoke euphoria, but it can’t be euphoric.
Emphatic, on the other hand, basically means strong or severe, more intense or charged with emotion, of a higher degree, unambiguous.
So… nice, good, great, wonderful, stunning, amazing, incredible, impeccable, flawless, iconic… at least for me, that’s roughly in order of rising ‘strength’, as an end to the phrase “You look ___”… but other people may order that list differently.
Good to see you too =)
Not sure if you outright stated you are autistic in other comments, but I’m autistic as well, I’m guessing I just have more experience with it than you, as I’m 35, and I’m guessing you are younger than that.
Socializing with NTs, and even other NDs can be quite difficult and complicated… a whole lot of people will tell you ‘bro, everyone interprets things exactly like I do’… even though their own interpretations are inconsistent, and they are obviously wrong, different people interperet the same phrase, in the same context differently.
The best you can do is trial and error or learn from gathering lots of data, and try to make some general rules that work most of the time.
Anyone who tells you ‘this will work 100% of the time to ensure great social interactions’ is lying… people are different, their moods change, and social norms change over time.
Human psychology is very complicated. It is an academic field that can be studied… but a whole lot of people just hear and see pop psychology tidbits on apps like tiktok, and end up wildly misusing terms.
This has actually been studied, and aomething like 50% of relationship advice and psychological info on tiktok is just flat out wrong, and about 25% of it is dangerously, greivously wrong.
But anyway, its good that you doing some self reflection is leading you to greater understanding of yourself!
Unironically, if you can afford it, a therapist may be able to help you by directing and advising you in that process of becoming more aware of aspects of yourself, and how they differ from others.
I personally agree with you that being average is fine… but again, the point of a compliment is to make someone feel better than average, to highlight something that makes them execptional.
The reason ‘you look nice’ evoked a negative reaponse is that its indicative, to most people, of a compliment that is not really sincere… it isn’t specific, it isn’t emphatic or strong… most people will conclude that a vague, weak compliment is actually just a person who doesn’t really think there’s anything special about a person, but they want to appear as if they think the person is special.
The weak and vague compliment then backfires and evokes the opposite result because it indicates the complimenter is being duplicitous, disingenuous.
Also as a final note, your last msg in this chain used ‘euphoric’ when I think you meant emphatic.
Euphoric, euphoria, is a sense of overwhelming happiness, joy and/or pleasure… its a state of being of a human or conscious subject.
I don’t think a phrase can be euphoric… it can maybe evoke euphoria, but it can’t be euphoric.
Emphatic, on the other hand, basically means strong or severe, more intense or charged with emotion, of a higher degree, unambiguous.
So… nice, good, great, wonderful, stunning, amazing, incredible, impeccable, flawless, iconic… at least for me, that’s roughly in order of rising ‘strength’, as an end to the phrase “You look ___”… but other people may order that list differently.