I’m (19F by the way, not like 50) a bad texter. I can be not dry when I want to be, but usually I’m just not up for texting. I really don’t engage with my friends. (I’m asocial).

I don’t participate in their activities. I don’t really ask them how they are, or what their interests are. I don’t even engage in deep discussion with them unless I’m up for it.

When my friend sends a video that reminded her of me or that she finds funny, I don’t click it and just ignore it.

Maybe my friends are growing apart and they text me less because of this, but I’m kind of okay with that because I know they will be there for me when I need it and because I’m genuinely just tired/bored most of the time.

One time, my friend asked me if I’d like to spend time with her, and I just point-blank said “No”. IDK if that’s rude just because I’m being honest and also because it’s not personal, I don’t want to engage with anyone.

  • jpreston2005@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I know they will be there for me when I need it

    Here’s the thing, relationships take work. Not just marriages or romantic ones, they all take work. Effort needs to be made by both parties, or else the relationship will die. I had a friend that affectionately called it “friend work,” where they would spend a bit of time each day putting in the effort needed to maintain a healthy friendship, because if she didn’t, then the relationship would suffer for it.

    Not wanting to engage in the world right now is very common, and downright reasonable considering the general state of things. If a relationship you have with someone is mentally stressing you, or sapping your energy, consider whether or not that relationship is valuable to you, and act accordingly. If the relationship is important to you, and you want it to continue or grow, then you have to put effort into it. If the relationship is one-sided, and feels draining, and you want it to end, then put forth zero effort into it, and it will naturally go away.