I would like to hear from everyone, not just those going through what I’m currently dealing with, which is perimenopause.
My ADHD is combined with depression. Yay me. As I started perimenopause I dipped into one of the worst cases of depression I ever had. Like “planning stages” bad.
In addition, my ADHD went into overdrive. The scary part was that I began to lose focus while driving. Fortunately there were no accidents, but I had some close calls–running lights unintentionally, having to slam on brakes to stop from rear ending people.
My other ADHD symptoms were amped up to where my house was crazy. My relationships were suffering. All of the “quirks” my husband was used to were dialed up to 11.
When my mother was entering perimenospause we all thought she had gone crazy too, for like years. Four or five. No one knew she had ADHD because the information wasn’t out there like it is today (it was the '80s). Her hormone shifting made her a different person. My dad told me later that he considered divorce. Things got better eventually.
I did get medical help and it has taken about four years to finally clear up. I tried different ADHD meds, but what helped more than anything was hormone replacement therapy. Once my hormones were levelled out, my normal treatment was so effective that it was like I was back to my old self and I had been forgetting what that looked like. My husband even jokingly puts his hand on my forehead to see if I’m okay when he sees how sane I’m behaving.
If you have ADHD, be aware that shifts in hormone levels do have an effect on you and your treatment needs to take this into account.
So what is your experience?
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So I want to just add my story to this as I’m currently going through this myself. At least I think I am. I am not diagnosed as of yet but I have an appointment to get things started towards that in a couple weeks. Going to share this anyways.
Anyways, I’m turning 43 this week and the past six months to a year have been super rough for me. I mean, I’ve always had issues but its gotten really bad. I almost got fired this past fall but for some reason my boss wanted to give me another chance. It all started going downhill when my coworker quit and I picked up the slack and took on more work. My boss pulled me aside and we had a meeting and she listed numerous issues she saw I was having. I had caused several minor accidents(i have to drive between accounts), major focus issues, she kept having to repeat herself constantly, running late and rushing and not giving myself enough time tondo mu work, interrupting her all the time, trouble remembering things(she writes stuff down for me now), skipping accounts, timecard mistakes constantly, just a whole cluster of wtf. My home life and marriage was suffering too but I won’t even start on those. All in all u was not having a good time.
I was just feeling awful about it and like I failure, my job is not hard at least it shouldnt be. I went home and started looking up specifically the problems I was having. Low and behold every single one kept coming up as adhd symptoms. I remember sitting there thinking to myself like wait what? And then started thinking about my past and it suddenly kinda made sense there too. so I did a bunch of reading.
At that point I found an article on menopause and adhd and that was enlightening. I realized that even though I’m still regular with my cycle and stuff it could be starting and would make sense why suddenly things are even more difficult. I got through the Xmas season okay, kinda put thst stuff out of my mind and focused on trying to not make a mess out of work but come January I dropped into a state of depression like I had never experienced before. Not even when I got kicked out of college i, not even when I was pretty much homeless and couch surfing at my friends. I have anxiety issues but I’m not normally depressed like that.
I was a zombie, I managed to get myself to work and back but that’s about it. I was just numb and yes I was at the point I wanted to end myself. After about a month of this I came to the realization that I needed help. I finally talked to my husband about it and I got clean off of any substances I was using at the time to try and cope. Started doing more reading and found this group and a menopause group. I have a doctors appointment in a couple weeks and I’m going to see what my options are and if they can give me a referral for testing. I also have an appointment with a gynecologist for the women’s stuff thst same week. I’m stressed but it will be good to know what is going on.
This got really long winded and I’m sorry about that. If you got through this thank you for reading. Hopefully I will have answers soon.
It sounds like you’re going through hell. I’m so sorry and totally empathize.
You are doing the right thing seeking treatment.
Here’s what I wish I had known before seeking treatment:
You may not need testing.
Your professional is qualified to diagnose based on what you have been experiencing. Think of calling the fire department when your house is on fire and expecting them to have to test for fire first. They’ll clearly see a fire and get to work.
Some say there is a test, others say there isn’t a definitive test. Which is it? If someone reads this and knows, I’m all ears.
I was told that I could get tested if I needed something for applying for disability, but getting an appointment with another specialist took months, would cost hundred of dollars out of pocket (insurance term if you aren’t in the States), and I still couldn’t get an answer as to whether the test was, I don’t know how to call it, “really an indicator” of ADHD. So confusing. I cancelled the appointment. I don’t need disability fortunately, I just have imposter syndrome and wanted to make sure I wasn’t “faking it”. Your professional will help you determine if you’re faking it, so the imposter syndrome should quiet down after awhile.
There are different paths for seeking treatment, medical and behavioral.
Medical is done with prescribed medicine through a psychiatrist. You may also see a licensed psychiatric nurse who can prescribe also.
Behavioral is done with a psychologist. Psychologists are not medically licensed, so they cannot prescribe. If you use a psychologist, know from the beginning that a prescription is off the table. I don’t know you, your beliefs or situation, but if I were recommending to my past self, I would suggest the medical route. I chose to supplement my medical treatment with behavioral later down the line.
You may need to try several prescriptions before getting it right.
In the beginning you will be seeing your doctor every 30 days. If you are going to notice a difference with medication, it will be on the first day. The 30 day period to see if you need a change in dosage or if there are any side effects that may warrant a change in type of medicine, say from Aderall to Vyvaanse. You should be seeing improvement during this process, so it’s still worth it. Think of it like clothes shopping. You’re trying to get the right fit, but you’re still wearing clothes.
If you have anxiety or depression, ADHD meds will not make that go away. Your professional will help you diagnose and treat that as well.
ADHD is comorbid with anxiety and/or depression. Comorbid means that two diseases are not the same or related, but are more likely exist at the same time. Example: two friends, X and Y love to hang out together, but telling X to go home doesn’t mean Y is leaving too. You may need to try different medications here also in order to get the right fit.
Expect a period of mourning when your symptoms are under control.
You will see how your life would have been different if you didn’t have ADHD messing you up. It will make you angry. It will make you sad. You will cry. It’s a fucking horrible realization how much easier life would have been if you had been born neurotypical. Come here to vent. I’m here for you as I’m sure many others are.
Expect everything to be “ADHD” for awhile.
You will become hyper aware of everything ADHD related and may become annoying to your partner, ha ha. “Oh my god, ADHD is the reason I can’t tolerate lipsmacking noises!” It’s called mysophonia and, yes, I just grossed myself out thinking about lipsmacking. You may not have mysophonia. Some people realize they have dysgraphia (I don’t), others may figure out that their little “quirks” are something they share with other ADHD’ers. This is an adjustment phase. Normal, annoying, maddening, saddening.
Come back to this forum if you have questions or need sympathy. I’ll listen for sure. No one will laugh at you, more likely we will all laugh with you over how ridiculous all this is. Good luck.
Thank you for your kind words and writing out such a detailed response. I really do appreciate it. It has been so helpful to be part of this group and your post was very informative and helpful. I am going to try to see a psychiatrist and honestly am open to whatever they think can help. I want to do therapy to I think. I have a lot of years to work through. Also want to look into hormones but it might be to early for that. I’ll see what they say. Also, your comment on the lip-smacking made me laugh, I’ve started fights over my husband chewing. Lol. 😳 anyways, thanks once again.
Similar story here, change in hormones brought on more pronounced symptoms which led to some soul-searching and self-reflection, and finally diagnosis. Unfortunately, due to medical reasons, I can’t get any hormone treatments but I’m glad I am at least medicated now!
