It’s terrifying to become intimate with someone like this as you slowly realize there’s a glitch and part of their soul is missing. And they think they are always right, and will never understand what they’re missing in their prefrontal cortex.
But oddly enough their mental defect serves them as a strength & an intimidation factor as they go about life intermixed with neurotypical people, they plow through life unbothered, they win at everything as they remorselessly use & manipulate & plow through everyone in their path.
I wish in some dystopian(?) utopian(?) parallel universe these people would be identified then given a one-way space flight to a different planet where they all would live amongst their own kind. What do you think an entire planet populated ONLY with narcissists, sociopaths, & psychopaths would be like?
Let them all use & manipulate & destroy each other their entire lives while we innocent guileless fairer folks can have our peace restored.
I am deeply empathetic, but I pretty much experience zero embarrassment, regret, guilt, and very very little anger.
I experience a ton of sorrow though, and love, it feels like I love everyone. I know something is really weird with the way I experience emotions - I have wildly overactive empathy for emotions in others, but yeah, it’s like I don’t quite have a soul or something.
You have empathy, sorrow, & love, and then the fact you never feel embarrassment, regret, guilt, rarely anger, seems like a goddamn superpower. Strong & loving. And the fact that you even know what a soul is, seems to indicate you probably do have a soul. I once dated a narcissist sociopath and after a few years of knowing him I was talking about the soul and he went blank and he said he doesn’t believe in souls. That was another indication I absolutely knew he was broken and incompatible with me.
I used to think that everybody had souls, I mean that’s our personality, that’s what gives us our uniqueness, but to think there are some lizard brain people with undeveloped prefrontal cortex, I think that is the thing that separates the evil people from the good people.
My (ex) wife is a diagnosed psychoath. I was aware of her condition, we still married, but oh Lord did that bite me up the arse later… I’m glad she eventually broke up with me, because now I’m in a happy and healthy marriage with someone who actually cares about my feelings, who genuinely loves me and is a delight to be with 24/7.
What do you think an entire planet populated ONLY with narcissists, sociopaths, & psychopaths
Don’t know, don’t care. The obsession with these traits in modern days is bonkers. There are countless books, films, podcast, insert mass produced media here. Because that stuff sells.
I want to hear and talk about the other end of the spektrum! You have your psychopaths, but what would you call people with exact opposite characteristics? People who can’t hurt anybody, even if they are in harms way themselves. People that do everything for others, nothing for themselves. There’s not even a scientific name for that. Unconditional empathy? Empathists?
<raises hand>
Hey, I actually have a collection of conditions that make it difficult for me to lie. I can but the way it affects my sensory conditions negatively influences my quality of life.
I have various forms of projector type synesthesia (emotion>color, mediated/perceived emotion>color, mirror touch, texture>color, high production concept>shape) as well as hyperphantasia (strong projected visual memory), lvl1 AUD, ADHD and a few other things too.
How this all comes together is I have a strong compulsion for justice, fairness and honesty and a feedback loop from my emotions and how I perceive others emotions that project colors into my vision. Each unique color maps to an Individual emotion, so sadness is a deep bluey/purple shadow whereas happiness is a limey red sparkle wave. When I am happy, that red colors my vision, or when I perceive others as happy they are overlaid with that color. Even individual reactions, like a smile on a sad person is projected. So if someone is bluey-purple but has a genuine smile then the limey red will highlight over their mouth while they are smiling.
When I lie that affects the colors I see in my world view or how I perceive others. Colors greatly affect my mood and general outlook on life so if my world is colored from destructive or deceitful behavior then my quality of life is also greatly affected on a deeply personal level.
What this results in is a person who tries to be blatantly honest in every aspect of my life. Honest, kind and fair are the colors I try to live within. Self sacrifice for others is my jam, to a fault. My perceived emotion>color kinda forces me to surround myself with caring, loving, honest and loyal people because the colors I perceive from others behavior and personality is always in my vision when I see or think of those people.
It took me a long time to learn to live within it and not be crushed or overwhelmed. I use polarized sunglasses with colored lens anytime I am outside of a safe space where I am already comfortable with the colors, or in bright lights as they bother me. I have a hundred pairs of sunglasses on a rack in my bathroom that I chose from each day depending on what colors I need to filter the world in. This helps block or cloud negative color patterns in areas where I can’t control who or what I may be seeing. Every pair of sunglasses is unique in color, shape, size, frame and all those parameters go into what glasses I wear for that day. I plan my glasses choices based on what environments I may find myself in so I am constantly carrying various pairs with me. Even the colors, fabric and texture of the clothes I wear affect the colors I see cover everything I see in my vision.
By managing my condition in this way I elevate my quality of life, mental health and outlook on the world.
I am compelled to be helpful to others, I give a lot of my stuff away and do not horde money or expensive things. I try to live a humble, shy and introverted life.
And Narcissist ARE my arch-nemesis. A bottomless pit of need that I am compelled to try to fill for them. They are my Achilles Heel but by the time I realize their true nature I am already too connected to go cold-turkey with them. Abandonment of the friendship/relationship feels like ripping off an appendage. It is the defining struggle of my life and it seems I am like a narcissist magnet. Like, seriously, I suspect it is a pheromone thing, or they just see an easy mark. I don’t know what it is really but I seem I draw them in like flies.
Anyway, I saw your comment and was compelled to answer your call as I think I fit your “other end of the spectrum” comment in relation to narcissists.
If you have any questions I’ll do my best to answer them for you.
I actually don’t have questions, because we are almost in the same boat. But I never went to a doctor to get a proper diagnosis. I have that endless empathy, even towards the worst people. I can always see and understand both sides of an argument. Very strong sense for justice and euqality, like you, but on a extremely unhealthy level (I had 2 burnouts). And I don’t have filters like normal people (light, sound, emotions, etc.), but that is probably just high-functioning autism or something like that. I will give my last shirt to you, even if you don’t need it. That’s why we are so prone to be exploited by “normal” people.
Narcisists and sociopaths are no real danger for me, because I can smell them from 3 miles away. I will bounce as soon as my spider-senses tingle and they will never see or hear from me again.
And here’s the real burden for me: while most people and psychopaths/sociopaths in particular can’t make an emotional connection to another person, I can almost “feel” every emotion, even in high crowded areas. It is really hard to explain, especially in another language than my own.
And that’s why I think we are on the other side of a spektrum, but without a label. Maybe HSP (highly sensitiv person), but there’s not much research in that field.
Erm, low self esteem is the main issue of narcissists. So, yes, they feel that too much.
