“Hey man, you said there was pot in here. I wanna get high. All you got in here is some bullshit.”

My cats recognize the sound of the electric kettle and the sound of me putting a (non-electric) kettle on the stove. That’s the preludium of me boiling fish for them.

Sadly for them, the exact same sounds can be heard when I’m about to make me some noodles.

‘What the fuck is all this shit, human?’

My cats open the door to the bag of dry food all they time. But they haven’t figured out how to get in the bag so far. So I’ll find them sitting in front of an open door to a closed bag, and I’ll laugh. I figure once they figure out they can open it with their claws, them I’ll feed them.