- cross-posted to:
- theonion@midwest.social
- politicalhumor@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- theonion@midwest.social
- politicalhumor@lemmy.ml
“We know there are voices across the world calling for a ceasefire, but what everyone needs to understand is that the only people who stand to gain from halting the bombing campaign are people who deeply value human life,”
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Missiles aren’t going to sell themselves.
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Maybe you shouldn’t slap that part of the missile… just sayin’
All ordinance guys, you can get way way rougher with explosives then you’d ever think as most are stable for everything except rapid extreme high pressures/temperatures.
Hell you can eat torpex and c4 no issues and it’ll still do the blowing up thing once it… Passes.
I do not support the Hamas terrorist attacks against Israel. That’s my Shibboleth. What Hamas did is unspeakable evil and unforgivable.
That said, Palestinians are human beings and around half of their population are children. When you cut off food, water, electricity, and bomb civilian areas, including the cultural hub of all of Gaza, to dust, maybe your retaliation has gone too far.
What if the prisoners held by Hamas are being treated humanely and taken care of? All this mass slaughter to get them back will look even more barbarous.
I think the claims are that Israel told Palestinians to move south, then bombed the corridors going south. The Palestinians moving south gave up on finding sanctuary there and went back home to the north. Then got bombed again.
I’m not saying that’s true, just what is being claimed.
It is very much true and documented.
in the early days of the current camapaign Israel also told people to flee to the Rafah crossing, to bomb it a few hours later. At that point it could be argued, that the different parts of the government struggled to coordinate their actions and made a mistake.
But since then this has happened repeatedly. Including the bombing on UN operated hospitals, schools and refugee camps it is pretty clear, that Israel considers the prevention of civillians killed by Israeli bombs an afterthought at best.
The other issue is that those children will see Israel as the ones that bombed them and killed their family and will be more likely to join Hamas in the future. Further perpetuating this insanity.
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
I’m starting to think this is a feature, not a bug…
I honestly don’t understand how more world leaders are not condemning Israel’s actions.
Killing innocent people should be wrong whoever is doing the killing. Rishi Cuntface Sunak refuses to ask for a ceasefire because they have the right to defend themselves, like what? Does that mean some of the innocent victims have a right to hit back at Israel.
Does that mean some of the innocent victims have a right to hit back at Israel.
And that’s how Hamas was born.
Literally kicking the terrorism problem a couple decades down the road at best.
Decades
Make that a year.
Tbh, I don’t think either side is treating people humanely.
One side is an open air prison. Fuck your two sides bullshit.
Thanks for the non-constructive commentary. Helps me know who I need to block to cultivate a better experience on lemmy, dicknozzle.
You’re trying to defend colonialists commiting genocide
Go back to lemmygrad.
I’ve stated elsewhere what information lead me to make my comment and asked for objective feedback to allow myself a chance to change my opinion.
Comments like yours are useless unhelpful and reek of absolute brainrot.
If you want to have a discussion, be polite and show me some facts all I’m aware of right now is Israel is bombing civilians and I heard reports of Hamas killing some hostages in early days.
If either of those are inaccurate how about you talk about it instead of being a dickhead?
Comments like yours are useless unhelpful and reek of absolute brainrot.
Pure projection here. Go back to history class you’ve got a lot of learning to do.
And how about you go fuck yourself?
It’s literally impossible to have a conversation where someone is incorrect without you and all of your toxic dipshit friends shitting on the poor soul all for the simple mistake of being incorrect.
For fucks sake you don’t even give someone a chance to allow themselves to be informed it’s just straight to being an asshole. God.
I have never been a member of lemmygrad lol
Also you can’t ask someone to be polite after calling people “dicknozzle”. Whatever that thing is you should go and choke on one.
I mean they’re treating hostages humanely. That’s just good politics.
There’s a released Hamas prisoner claiming she received good medical treatment and ate the same food as the terrorists. Whoever has a brain in Hamas understands that this is a good idea. We shouldn’t trust that everyone in Hamas has a brain though, just out of pure statistics there must have been prisoners who have been abused beyond just having been kidnapped because someone couldn’t keep their spite inside themselves.
I see the other comment, but the reason I made my comment, I remember earlier on in Israel’s War on palesteinians terrorism hearing reports of hostages being killed/paraded around like some kind of disgusting trophy.
Was this information inaccurate?
Source was somewhere on lemmy in one of the various discussions that have happened so bit difficult to track down I’m afraid.
Yes. It was incorrect. It was hostage. Not plural. The ethnicity Jewish, German tattoo artist. I’m not 100% on the outcome, though I think she survived. But it wasn’t widespread or common. Not defending Hamas mind you.
Outside of the leadership though it’s extremely ragtag and lacking in discipline. There’s going to be a lot of variation in treatment of hostages just by the particular group that took them. They’re mostly teenagers raised in an open air genocide camp. With no resources or hope. Who’s families tend to die fairly young via starvation, lack of medical care, or a diet of Israeli bullets. It can drive people to be quite bitter, cruel, and irrational.
And it’s really easy to say they should just kick out or turn over the guys who possess all the weapons, and are an active threat against them and their families. When they have no one defending them. It truly is just regular people at the mercy of toxic dicks at either end.
It truly is just regular people at the mercy of toxic dicks at either end.
Feels like lemmy when you’re incorrect or seem to have an opinion that certain instances don’t agree with.
Shitting on lemmygrad and lemmy.ml aside, appreciate you not being a dick and helping to correct my knowledge of the situation. Given what I now understand, my comment was in error.
I’m also not defending Hamas or the Israelis. I definitely understand why Hamas acted as they did, but the Israeli response is absolute garbage.
There’s a lot of emotion flying around with all this right now. It’s better to try to stay back a little bit. Even though that’s largely impossible. Because unfortunately outside of the everyday people, none of the other groups involved are innocent or good.
And yeah even us socialists aren’t fond of leninists.
I always find I get along better with socialists even if we aren’t 100% aligned politically. In the states, we vote alike, but that’s like saying we a straight line alike.
Yeah, those people being genocided need to start being more civil. Otherwise they’ll deserve the genocide.
There reports that Hamas actually is withholding fuel from the population to cause this.
I mean it could be just propaganda, but when Israel sent sms notifications to evacuate, because they will start bombing, Hamas started giving leaflets to stay at home, and it is just attempt to create panic. Someone posted such leaflet, unfortunately I no longer can find it.
when Israel sent sms notifications to evacuate, because they will start bombing, Hamas started giving leaflets to stay at home
Seems like those leaflets were probably good advice. Israel has told northern Gazans to move south, but then proceeded to bomb areas in the south. It’s almost seems like the intent was to concentrate them to increase civilian life loss… But why would Israel do that?!
Oh there’s even more angles than just that.
“Oh no, we told them to go south. Must mean everyone still here is Hamas and we can murder these ‘combatants’ that certainly aren’t civilians”.
Also, they get to annex even more Palestinian land. It’s even on the coast!
I swear to fuck, unless an Israeli mouthpiece is calling Palestinians sub-human, everything else is lies or projection.
Israel also claimed that the attack on a hospital was a Hamas rocket and showed a video as alleged proof that most news outlets parroted.
Now the NYT analysed the video shown as proof by Israel and concluded it to be an Israeli rocket that exploded two miles away from the hospital.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/24/world/middleeast/gaza-hospital-israel-hamas-video.html
Being pro Palestine but anti Hamas is like being pro beef but anti slaughtering cows. Hamas is the means Palestine has to force Israel to quit their genocide, disavowing them is the same as being pro Israeli genocide.
Hard disagree. Hamas attacking and kidnapping Israeli civilians is not on the children and civilians of Palestine. Just as many Israelis don’t agree with the policies of the Netanyahu government.
Moderate voices need to prevail in both Israel and Palestine for lasting peace to become reality.
Moderate voices need to prevail in Israel. Extremist voices need to prevail in Palestine, because the people committing genocide do not give one fuck about moderate Palestinians. You don’t stop genocide with talk, you stop it with terrorism and mass slaughter in return. Until the rest of the world steps up to do their violence for them, Palestine needs to slaughter as many Israelis as possible. That is the only language that genociders respond to.
I certainly don’t blame Palestine for the actions of Hamas. I blame Israel. Israel is the one who forced Palestine to resort to terrorism. Short of their own genocide, anything Palestine needs to do to prevent Israel genociding them is justified. They have the right to defend themselves (which is true when Palestinians say it - Israel has never been defending itself).
In what world does Hamas slaughtering Israeli civilians lead to peace? That’s madness. Peace only happens when both sides come together. The Saudis were close to negotiating a peace deal with Israel right before the Hamas attack happened.
Palestinian lives were about to get better. That’s why Hamas attacked when they did.
Hamas has already done far more than their fair share of peace. The only language Israel understands is violence. Hamas is the only reason Israel is even considering a ceasefire. If you think Hamas killing Israelis is not in the benefit of all Palestinians, you’re a fool.
Funny-sad-real.
“You honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Few people ever cried more than once, if you’d used that up, you laughed.”
—Michael David Herr, Dispatches (1977) (writing for Esquire during Vietnam War)
Somebody please Photoshop emperor palpatine’s laser hands onto Biden in this photo.
Darth Brandon
emperor palpatine’s laser hands
So close haha
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Did you, perhaps, eat the onion?
He used the onion as a suppository.
In reality it would benefit US having more time to position forces in the middle east and finally properly start that war with Iran. So not really sure if ceasefire would really net more human lives saved in the end.
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It’s satire. A genre often used to make fun of the political mainstream views.
Since the general political consensus in the west seems to be to blindly support Israel, that’s the reality The Onion will be making fun of. If the US government were blindly supporting Hamas instead, you would expect The Onion to criticise that instead.
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Since when is satire supposed to be neutral?
Could be satire but at this point I’m afraid it’s just radicalized cynicism. And I think that’s the reason why some do think it’s not funny anymore. It’s not healthy for anyone to really believe the world is in fact running like the Onion is implying. Yes, countries and struggles for power lead to a lot of atrocities. But in most cases not because of blatant bloodthirst and sadism of the leadership. That assumption is just crass and downright ignores the complicated reality of our world.
There is no complicated reality about cutting electricity, water, food, medical supplies and fuel from an already impoverished population.
It is a straightforward crime against humanity. And there is nothing complicated about the continued escalation of the Israeli occupation over the past decade, installing more and more settlers, driving more and more Palestinians off their land, aiding in radicalization and protecting Israeli murderer of Palestinians. Israel is bloodthirsty and sadistic in the way they treat the Palestinians.
Well, I don’t think that’s true either. “Israel is” is already giving away your biased view of the issue. I think there definitely is a majority among arabic as well as Israeli palestinians who’d prefer to have peace with each other and prosper. Sadly those sane people are betrayed by extremists on both sides who commit crimes while claiming it’s for the best of their own population, which is clearly wrong and delayed peace since decades.
If you don’t want to accept these “complications”, fine. Keep your beliefs about evil occupier nation vs poor oppressed freedom fighters. I don’t care.
My point was that there is imo a difference between satire and cynicism.
It’s not supposed to imply that’s how the world is. Swift didn’t actually advocate for eating children either.
There’s nothing complicated about kindness and empathy. Sociopaths have successfully convinced a lot of people in this world that it’s truly a uncaring universe where everyone is fighting alone for themselves.
I didn’t write a single world about empathy vor lack thereof. I do have empathy with the palestinians who suffer enormously from the attacks. I have empathy for all humans that are suffering. But empathy is not the sole category through which we can judge the actions of the POTUS of any politician. Also it’s hard to tell who is empathetic and who is not. Do you have empathy for the countless Israeli families who lost relatives in the terrorist attacks?
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I would expect The Onion not to push any particular perspective. They are pushing one. That is not satire. That is obnoxious. If they want to be an opinion publication, they should be an opinion publication and not pretend that they haven’t taken a side.
Your entire reply shows you’re suggesting satire should be neutral (emphasis mine)
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The meaning of the word implication is to give a meaning but not explicitly say it with words.
What are they supposed to take as a balanced perspective?
There is no satire in “Hamas is a terrorist group that concluded terrible attacks on Civillians.” Everyone knows that already. There is nothing to satirize.
But the West claiming Israel would make an effort to protect human life and not be deep into commiting heinous warcrimes, that is something to satirize. It is a mainstream talking point that falls apart when looked at a bit deeper and satire is among the nicest angles to do that still.
The proper angle would be for the signatories to the ICC statute to sanction the US and Israel, end all support and hand over all individuals suspect of having commited warcrimes to the ICC, respectively put out warrants on them and see to arrest them if they ever step inside their countries.
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Satire has a deep history with politics and is intrinsically about opinions. It’s perfectly fine to disagree with their stance and views on the conflict, but that doesn’t mean The Onion aren’t allowed to publish satire pieces based on their writers’ world views.
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Do you have any source for claiming that these articles are from an AI?
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What? I just asked you a question about your comment
I doubt current LLM are capable of writing proper satire yet. And yeah, it can be hard to write satire after the satire you wrote 4 years ago starts to become a reality.
Don’t be surprised to see a satire website focuses on the big political topic of the day. Also, some of the articles that have been posted on Lemmy were several years old.
After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016
Published November 7, 2012
Amazing.
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Why would you expect the onion not to push a perspective? They are and always have been a leftist satire group.
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It’s explicitly political satire. If you don’t find that funny then that’s on you for not liking satire? It’s meant to highlight the absurdity of conservative politics and conservative political ideology. That’s the entire purpose of the onion.
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Ok. And? You’re still out there eating onions.
That’s probably because you support Israel so it makes you angry, which would prevent you from finding it funny.
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Yes I have a bias towards the victims of an ongoing apartheid.
No, jokes are funnier when they’re true, and the other perspective is a lie
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The Onion has never been much of one to boot-lick. The only way to believe this is a justifiable military response to terrorism to ignore historical context or believe one of the groups is inherently less valuable than the other; Both perspectives are anti-human.
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It’s obviously not a news organization. I don’t see why satire can’t have a message. In fact I’d say the best satire does.
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not yours, thats for damn sure.
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and that is…?
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Who needs Onion stories when you have the full force of the American and Israeli governments, the media establishment, corporate executives, lobby groups, and endless trolls online?
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Deliberately missing the point, or incapable of understanding it? Truly a mystery as old as time. There’s gotta be a version of Poe’s Law covering this…
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The onion editors should volunteer themselves as human shields on Palestinian and Israeli side, to force a ceasefire then. Humanity will benefit even more.
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So you honestly missed their one sided coverage of the conflict so far? This is yet another epistle trying to take a shit on Israel and Israel alone, pretending that it is only Israels fault that there is no ceasefire and that there is a war in the first place. So they should come down from their high horse of self perceived moral righteousness and do something actually useful.
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😘
Bruh.
Did you actually eat the onion? On a community named, “the onion”? Dedicated to the well-known satirical news site called, “the onion”?
Bruh.
So you honestly don’t understand what the onion is saying?
Do you?
Do you?
I understand it’s an American satirical site. It’s going to riff off the popular American narrative.
What fucking coverage are you flapping about? Are you a bot? It’s a satire news site. SATIRE. not FACTUAL not REPORTING –
it’s shitposting in blog format.
Are you just mad they are not full throating the bullshit coming out of Apartheid Israel?
Ui, you know big words.
None of those are big words. Eat your onion and shut the fuck up.
Wow, now angry words from internet person. That supposed to impress anyone?
Just block me if you don’t like what I am saying.
Blocking you would be like visiting the circus and skipping the freak tent. I’d rather enjoy the shit show.
Over 6.000 Palestinians have been killed in Gaza by now. Considering the collapse of the medical system and a thosuand people still missing in the rubbles, we can expect the death toll of Israels action so far, to pass 7.000 That is already 5x as many people as killed in the Hamas attack. There is more Palestinian children that were killed by Israel in the past two weeks, than Israelis killed by the Hamas attack.
Israel has committed numerous warcrimes, the most blatant and throughout their total siege of Gaza that put 2 Million people into a humanitarian crisis. If things continue like this we are looking at potentially hundreds of thousands of killed Palestinians.
Of course Israel is facing the main criticism by the Onion now, because they have the power do change something and instead they use the power to commit more atrocities. Meanwhile the western governments and many news outlets still turn a blind eye towards the terror instilled on the Palestinians by Israel.
It is the duty of satire to work as a corrective force and what needs to be corrected right now is the public representation that is overly favourable towards Israel and inhumanely neglectious of the situations of the Palestinians.
“Stop killing each other” is one sided in your weird world?
Fuck Israel.
Why so? Care to elaborate on your thoughts? What to explain to the class why you hate… [checks notes] satire?
Jokes on you, they don’t have any. It’s right in the nickname.
