Eta: thank you. Apologies for my atrocious lack of manners.

It took me four decades to stop watching rhetoric and watch actions, and another decade to clear up cognitive dissonance. Only the last half decade has made me willing to fight – and suffer, if necessary, to bring my values into fruition. The cognitive dissonance I think stemmed from not wanting to admit I was choosing to be Cyril, imagining if only things were different, I would choose to be Neo. I’ve accepted that reality now.