Just realized today I am 300 days sober!
My wife and son have been away looking at colleges and they come back tonight. I have to pick them up at the airport at 11:30 at night. In the past this would have been a problem for me because it would soon trigger a binge.
I’d be able to be sober to pick them up, but in a day or two I’d end up drinking way too much and be undeniably drunk. I could always go a few days without drinking, but soon enough I’d hit a cliff and end up black out drunk.
Sometimes I’d drink every day for weeks and hold it together, but soon enough I’d go way overboard. This would cause such a mess with my wife and family as I’m a very obnoxious person when I’m blacked out.
I never figured out why I binged. The psychology of it has to this day escaped me, but what I did figure out was that it would always, eventually, happen and the only way to prevent that was to stop drinking.
I will not drink today and I know why I won’t.
I was almost the exact same as you when I drank. If I had work the next day I’d drink as much as I possibly could without being too hungover the next morning. If the weekend hit, well there was never that “you need to be functional tomorrow” floating in the back of my head and I’d get torn up for a couple days straight (20-30+ drinks).
I know it’s a struggle. Take it one day at a time and youll get there. 2.5 years sober here and if you ever need an ear just DM
Thank you, I will.