Bad comedy idea, Willy Nelson Wonka

Bassian Andor amd he got and went fishing instead of getting political

Cooler flying right through the 20x Kaioken Kamehameha while Drowning Pool plays in the background

A band i was in used to do occasional jams where we would play free form sludge to an elderly crackhead who mooched off our drummer and swung by here and there, he would just ramble into a mic and we would pop on a shitload of delay and reverb. Some of his lines still stick in my mind 15 years later such as “take me down to the Paradise City where the sexy girls are pretty!”, "Bill Cleeton (he called Clinton Cleeton), he drives by the white house. He says ‘wow, that’s a really white house!’ And ‘America is the land that plays Freebird!’.

Approached podium and clears throat

“Dave Chapelle Roan”

Crowd erupts in applause

Ill post pics in a bit but ive figured out a solid method of making gunpla stands using leftover plastic lids, shaved runners, plastic spoons and hot glue. Tske a round and wide enough round lid, and flip ot inside out, mostly white is best for painting. Cut the spoon part off the handle of the spoon, cut and shave the bits off two runners, one longer and with an L curved part from a corner and one shorter stick the longer one up the gundam’s butt and make sure it fits snug. Remove it. Make a lil hole on the center of the lid and push the single runner through. Hot glue the second runner to it at the base, it should be a bit shorter than the first so the first can still go up the gundam’s butt. This is so the first runner doesnt bend. Put the spoon part cover side up under the lid and glue it to the runner using the curved bit. For heavier kits you can use cheap modeling clay for counterweight under the base, jusr smear it in there and let it dry

If we still had real high-quality American crazies like in the 60s or 70s someone would imagine seeing an encoded message in The Pendragon Cycle telling them to kill Mike Johnson and then they’d actually do it

But the gun still rattles the gun still rattles UwU~

For anyone that doesn’t work in an office, have you heard it’s March already? Can you believe it’s already March? Where is this year going? Everything’s happening so fast. It’s March already, can you believe it?

There you go, you’ve had your fill of office banter for the day

I know I’m not missing out on much, but it sucks I caught two TikTok permabans because I actually fought back against chuds instead of just doing absolutely nothing.

All of my co-workers are on team Iran in this war. They were also pissed that our prime minister decided to declare our support of Israel and murica cause of that wasnt implied in the first fucking place. We’re already the 51st state where it counts! Even the white dudes, one of whom I had to explain who Khamenei was and like…the bare basics of Iranian history cause this dude is powerfully ignorant, but he knew anyway that America threatened to annex us recently and that the word Canada is probably spoken less than 100 times a year in the Iranian government, who’s the threat here? He’s a smart dude, just amazingly politically and historically ignorant but he does admit that isnt a good trait and is eager to learn.

About half our kitchen is Phillino, and not too big on America. Our cranky older daytime dish and prep guy has a history degree and despite his incoherent politics and degree of social conservatism (dude is for sure homophobic but knows not to talk about it, but if someone is gay he brings it up every time that person is brought up) he understands geopolitics is aware that North Korea is alright. He knows people who have worked there. And has big respect for Gaddafi and doesnt get all sentimental about deterrence.

Death to America seems to be the overall sentiment. I’m just a Canadian, literally america but a different country but after all the tarrif bullshit and annexation threats, along with a domestic policy of disappearing people with a stare sponsored gang of jack booted thugs has made the general popular vibe here to be just a bit under ‘beat up any American tourist’. If America is reaching that level of hostile feelings among the Canadian populace, the rage has to be burning fucking hot elsewhere. Eventually enough has to be enough even under a global capitalist order cause you cant just try to take the whole pie. You give just enough grease to turn the wheel slowly then apply just enough weight to hold people down. Eventually theyre gonna put their hands into the pockets of enough other rich people to make it a problem. The poor people dont even have a moth left to fly out of their wallet, they will need to eat their own soon enough.

They should have made one more season of Seinfeld where they were in prison. George could get recognized from his stint accidentally impersonating the head of the Aryan Union and mistake his newfound friends as The Bald Gang. Jerry would get shanked every episode. Everyone would think Kramer was the biggest badass in the place cause of how casually he would mooch off of people. Elaine just leaves cause it’s a male prison so it’s easy to convince people she isnt a prisoner. You could have a visitation where Uncle Leo insists that Jerry’s cousin Jeffrey at the parks department is pulling all the strings he can, he wishes he had cousin Jeffrey around when he committed his crime of passion, ill tell you that!

Did a bit at work that went pretty hard and ended out having a lot to work off, I was talking about my grandfather being a pioneer comedian and talking about the first time people heard old common jokes. Like he saw the first person to tell a knock knock joke and everyone just rushed to the door. How im places like Chicago and New York ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ went over well but on tour the people didnt have roads and were just upset you let the chickens loose. One nice woman offered my grandfather a chicken, and that eas my grandmother. Once knock knock jokes got big and people stopped going to the door it became the first form of crowd work. They were so happy my grandpa was glad he didnt say banana, it took until the joke was om radio for them to even hear the Orange pun

I had a thought about checking tiktok to see if the American takeover scrubbed out all the good shit regarding Iran. It totally did from what I can see.