I have found that having different interests and to some extent different priorities is not the obstacle that society thinks it is.
Compromise, respect and good will is most important. Usually a good partnership will nurture each person in their growth, interests and aims.
Miss Seagoon learnt this the hard way, her 1st husband actively discouraged her career and interests to the point where discouragement wasn’t enough to stop her, he started abusing her. He just had no interest in an equal partnership or her as a person.
What I’m saying is. If it feels very right then pursue it. This good feeling rare. You can sort out the rest later.
That’s the thing though. I do want to pursue it but it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. She wants to get married soon, I don’t. She wants kids, I’m a maybe. And the biggest one is she needs to marry a Christian.
The religion thing can sometimes work out, but kids is utterly non negotiable. Somebody will end up miserable and resentful. Until you can absolutely say which side of the fence you fall on, something serious cannot be on the table.
I have found that having different interests and to some extent different priorities is not the obstacle that society thinks it is.
Compromise, respect and good will is most important. Usually a good partnership will nurture each person in their growth, interests and aims.
Miss Seagoon learnt this the hard way, her 1st husband actively discouraged her career and interests to the point where discouragement wasn’t enough to stop her, he started abusing her. He just had no interest in an equal partnership or her as a person.
What I’m saying is. If it feels very right then pursue it. This good feeling rare. You can sort out the rest later.
That’s the thing though. I do want to pursue it but it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. She wants to get married soon, I don’t. She wants kids, I’m a maybe. And the biggest one is she needs to marry a Christian.
The religion thing can sometimes work out, but kids is utterly non negotiable. Somebody will end up miserable and resentful. Until you can absolutely say which side of the fence you fall on, something serious cannot be on the table.
Yup and I mentioned it in passing. Which is why I think it’s not worth pursuing this. 😩
I suggest talking about it with her.
Family pressure will evaporate when they see how happy she is. :)