• Kerb
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        10 months ago

        prety sure thats a diffrent greentext (based on the same premise)

        the greentext this was referencing had a canon with grapeshot, and a triangular bayonet

        EDIT:
        there found it,
        im prety sure this is the actual greentext/copypasta it was referencing

        Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended.
        Four ruffians break into my house.
        “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.
        Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot.
        Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog.
        I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.
        Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.
        He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up.
        Just as the founding fathers intended.

          • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOP
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            10 months ago

            There are all sorts of variations but as far I know, the one Kerb posted is the first incarnation of it. Not sure if it started on 4chan’s /k or /b or some variant of r/gunnit but it’s been around for years.

    • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOP
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      10 months ago

      Yeah, the whole thing is a reference to an older copypasta that probably originated on 4chan or reddit:

      Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.