Shaleesh [she/her, comrade/them]

  • 10 Posts
  • 270 Comments
Joined 5 years ago
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Cake day: June 20th, 2021

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  • discussion of sexual assault and survivorship

    So, first off, if a woman is opening up to you about her experience with SA it might be because she sees you as one of the girls, one of the gays, or both. Regardless, she sees you as someone worthy of some degree of trust. This reflects positively on you.

    You cant really directly counteract someone downplaying their experience with SA. However, affirming statements about how the survivor didnt deserve it and/or what happened was still horrible can be very powerful in moments like these. If you feel like you can be supportive of them, it would be a good idea to let the survivor know that you can be there for them when they need it. Opening up and coming to terms with surviving a sexual assault can be a long process.

    I have some experience with being on both sides of this, and the bottom line is that the best things you can do are to listen, care, and ask them what they need of you.






  • It can be really overwhelming and honestly intimidating when going at it alone. The fitness comm here on hexbear has some good stuff in the sidebar, particularly in the wikis. Ive tried to do this on my own for a couple years and the biggest improvements in my routines have come from working with people face to face; though this may not be an option for some people and I respect that.

    Random unsolicited tips:

    Focus on doing stuff consistently rather than progress or results. Showing up and doing the work is arguably the hardest part, and its foundational to progress and results. Starting out can feel miserable, but it gets better once you get used to it and over time you’ll even come to enjoy it once you find what you like.

    Weight lifting is really good for you, trust. Ive met a lot of transfems who are afraid of gaining muscle mass for dysphoria reasons when they really shouldnt be. Gaining muscle mass is a lot harder once on estrogen and it takes years of concerted effort to get a body builder figure, so it wont masculize your body, if anything, gaining a more toned musculature will be feminizing. Learning to do the excercises also improves the mind-body connection which can help with some forms of dysphoria, I swear by it.

    Try to approach it with a hobbyist mindset and have some fun! Theres a lot of options out there and I encourage you to go and explore while trying to find things you like.

    Having specific clothes I ONLY wear when working out is a dumb mind trick that helps me stay consistent for some reason.