White people will look you dead in the eyes and tell you that Palestinian children deserve to starve and then go drop a band on 3 different types of raw chicken feet and salmon fins to feed Bark Ruffalo, their goldendoodle with an uncannily human expression
“Bark Ruffalo” really got my
energy flowingHonestly I really appreciate the input because I came up with it on the spot and felt really proud of myself
I got really mad at a hypothetical person who would name a dog that so it’s very effective, well done
at your service
someone has to have made a gentrification sign tier list, this is an S rank for sure
Expensive pet stores, an abundance of yoga studios, boutiques, and salons, a flurry of ill-fated overpriced concept bars, Mexican restaurants run by white people that charge $7 for a taco, a brewpub with the most mid IPA you’ve ever tasted, fad restaurants in general (acai bowls or whatever the fuck), almost completely unused rooftop patios, a health food trend grocery store that charges 4X the price for basic goods (it replaced a local, much cheaper supermarket), the neighborhood suddenly gets nice sidewalks and transit (for the white people of course)
Bagel shops, fancy donut shops, fancy ice cream parlors, drinking chocolate shops, French-style bakery-cafes, cold-pressed juice shops, mediterranean cooking supply shop where everything comes in a <500mL container and mostly looks like it’s there for the aesthetique
Hahahaha there are always an increasing number of way overpriced ice cream shops. It begins with 1 but they don’t stop there! The rest are on-point too.
almost completely unused rooftop patios
lmfao gottem
The Mexican place has to also gentrify elotes and call it “Mexican street corn” and charge $12 per ear (yes the ends are cut off)
We need to get hexbear’s best minds on this asap tbh
“Raw Dog Delivery” Service would make for a very interesting entry in a phone book.
That’s your mom’s name in my contacts list
Place looks like a cross of a butcher shop and the serial killers front so no one guesses he’s feeding humans to dogs.
thank you for expressing the deep unease i felt looking at these pics
Reminds me of the food labels from Repo Man
Pick n Pay is an actual supermarket retail chain in South Africa lmao
Not pictured, but next door to this is a wine-tasting bar.
These places have to be money laundering schemes bro
Maybe, but there are hordes of bougsie wine cave warriors in that area and a fuckton of tourists giving that place a plenty of real business.
Check the logo!!!
Even for gentrifying place standards that’s a dogshit (lol) logo
You leave Bark Ruffalo out of this he is an angel.
That window does need a brick tho
You need to throw a brick through their window to keep rent down.
I have a better Idea
i was on vacation with family in a “cool” capital city (tbh, it was p cool) but anyway there was a “cat cafe” near the hotel where my sister+her kid wanted to check out. they didn’t partake, because apparently it costs like $20/person/hour to just go inside and drink drinks (~$10/drink) and if you want a cat to come over to you, you have to pay someone to bring it ($10) and then pay again to give it treats ($2/treat).
when they articulated all this to me, i was like, “wtf, was there even anyone in there?” and they said it had a few people in it but was mostly dead. like, i can see the appeal of being somewhere that there’s a bunch of cats that might come up and hang out, but i cannot imagine paying for that, especially so much. like do the cat’s cough off golden hairballs?
i used to live near a really cheap restaurant that had like a dozen feral cats always hanging around out behind it. i could get a meal and a few beers and all the cat attention in the world for like $6.
stores opening doesn’t raise rents, landlords do
Yes, but the best way to predict when a landlord increases the rent is usually tied to property value (which in turn influences property taxes). And the best way to tell if property value is going to go up is by paying attention to the kinds of stores opening up (or developments being built) in your neighborhood.
Thunder doesn’t kill you, lightning does
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Rent’s been going up everywhere I lived and none of the places have gotten nicer
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Sit out on the stoop with a 40.
Drink: Doodle type dog
Dog in a stroller
Purebred “rescue” puppy
Kill your drink: Pit in a tutu
Missing a few
Kill drink:
-Owner does not pick up after dog
-dog has leash stretched to the max and forces pedestrian going other direction to leave sidewalk
-dog acts aggressively towards other dog and both owners think “theyre playing!”
: Bark Ruffalo
: Karl BarxI wanted the first name last name double dog pun though
We call him barky bark for fun
Though he expresses some confusion about his part in the plan
And he can’t understand that he’s not in command
The decisions underwritten by the cash in his hand
Bought a sweater for his weimaraner, too
Now I’m no mad man but that’s insanityThe amerikan project creates this in exchange of millions of people not having clean water nor a home
