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GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish · 11 months ago

What's your clickbait headline that describes your life right now?

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What's your clickbait headline that describes your life right now?

GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish · 11 months ago
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  • 👍Maximum Derek👍
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    11 months ago

    How long can one person avoid yard work? The answer will shock you.

    • edric@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      3 weeks so far lol. I’ll probably have to finally mow next week before it gets unmanageable.

  • Boozilla@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    “Clueless old man tries the cloud.”

  • KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    He’s unemployed, autistic, spends his free time configuring Linux distros, doomscrolling and falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. You won’t believe how he met his wife!

    • Artyom@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Wait, but how did you meet your wife though?

      I too choose this guy’s wife.

      • KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I asked for her number in a night club, she was the bartender.

    • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      3 long lines of ‘headline’ won’t get you any clicks (and no wife)

  • Toes♀@ani.social
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    11 months ago

    101 mistakes to avoid if you wanna reach 30

    • baldingpudenda@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      me, reading: oh no… oh no!

  • NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Assembly.

      • NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        deleted by creator

    • Guest_User@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Do let me know of the outcome!

      • Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        I’ve found calling HTML a programming language helps.

      • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago
        Spoiler

        “The hackers chainsaw” - Forth

        Old Reverse Polish Yoda can kill with one Word.

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Man goes to memorial service and learns coworker’s shocking secret!

    • hddsx@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      Do tell

      • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        My stepmom’s mom died, I found out my coworker sings in her church’s choir.

        If you knew him, you’d be shocked too.

        • SurfinBird@lemmy.ca
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          11 months ago

          This is just how the click baits turn out too

          • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            Hey shitty news sites! I’m accepting bids for part time click bait writing!

  • lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    Fail compilation 2024 (watch till the end 😂👌)

  • Got_Bent@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Scientists discover THIS many shots of vodka will inebriate you

  • Rimu@piefed.social
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    11 months ago

    Chaos Condo in Manila: Yowling cat, BDSM couple and Nose Job Woes Shake Up Quiet Night.

    I am not kidding. Life is strange sometimes.

    • Rimu@piefed.social
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      11 months ago

      Also across the hall there is a phone that rings for 10 full minutes, every day.

      And the aircon smells like mold.

      And the windows are stuck shut.

      And the bathroom smells a bit like sewer.

      Sorry, got on a roll there.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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        11 months ago

        This reads like the lyrics to a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song. Like a more depressing Dead Flag Blues.

    • Dran@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Okay, I’m hooked, I have to know the non-clickbait story

  • cobysev@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Retired at 38 and living childless with his wife in the countryside… What will he do with the rest of his life? #7 may surprise you.

    • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      WHATS #7 damnit‽

  • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    Man waits 3 months to see his girlfriend, you won’t believe what happens next!

    She was out of town for work for a couple of months, we saw each other one time since she got back. Then before we could see eachother again, she came down with COVID and I got fucking pneumonia. So we have to wait a bit before seeing each other until we’re both healthy.

  • HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone
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    11 months ago

    Local fuckup reclaims a meager portion of his dignity using this one weird trick

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.eeBanned from community
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    11 months ago

    Nurgle mistakenly identifies local sedentary fatass as living in tribute to him, rewards him with the blessing of now 4 weeks of continuous digestive plague.

  • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    11 months ago

    How Is This Mentally Ill Single Millenial Holding Down Two Jobs and Crunching Through Debt Payments? The Answer Will Shock Most Americans!

    (the answer is I am a lucky bitch whose main employer fucks up just about everything except they provide premium health insurance I can afford to pay for and pay copays for, and this has been drastically improving my life)

  • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    You Won’t Believe This Guy’s Crazy Knife Collection!

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