Kid: I forgot.
Me: You need to work on remembering things a bit better.
Kid: Well somebody told me that as you get older you can’t remember things as well.
Me: Not at 7 years old!
Kid: Well maybe you told me and you just don’t remember.

We asked her if she was excited to go to the pool tomorrow.

“Yeah! I can’t swallow gum.”

She’s never had a piece of gum in her life.

My kid just added ‘ugh’ to their vocabulary, as teenagers do. It’s amusing coming from an 8 year old.

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“I’m causing some music”

To be fair, it did not sound like the music wanted to be played.

2 year old taking a big drink of milk. “Tastes like ahhhh”

6yo in the shower: Mom, for some reason when I twist my nipples I fart.

Wife: that’s wonderful dear.

6yo in the shower: now I can fart whenever I want.

“Daddy, can I have some bum worms?”