her, expolde

Join our puplic Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat

As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

  • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    11·
    8 days ago
    spoiler

    Like am I just supposed to do this?

    yea emotional support trans mega is for this purpose

    The fact that nobody in my life suspected that I was queer or autistic or struggled at all feels like an indictment of my

    The fact you are blaming yourself for the neuronormative, cisheteronormative assumptions of our dogshit hellscape is itself pretty messed up, you should not. Nobody twigged that I was autistic either. Fuck anyone who “gave up” on you.

    needs a human character to be their straight person,

    Way too on the nose lmao… but uh sadly nobody else really tells us what we need to know, usually. Sucks.

        • Wendy_Pleakley [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
          2·
          7 days ago

          I mean, not with this.

          I can ask someone to move their car if it’s blocking me in. I can ask someone how they are. I can ask someone if something they said is really true.

          But, like, what I need from other people? I don’t know what I need from other people. People aren’t consistent, so how does one depend on them? How can you establish needs when the people you need ghost you or misunderstand you?

          spoiler

          Asking someone, “Can you help me navigate my gender dysphoria?” or “Can you always reassure me and I always reassure you?” or “Can you be my Gender Friend?” feels different than that, though. Maybe it’s the neurodivergence but I’m really caught up over at what point I’m burdening others by simply recounting things that have happened. I get so many mixed messages everywhere I go and nobody actively encourages me to speak my mind.

          So I stay quiet. It feels like I’d only be speaking up to say “I’m queer and you need to stop not texting me”, because that’s what I’d be doing. I don’t know how to give myself that, or if that’s anything to want at all.

          I’m not trying to defend my thoughts, I’m trying to understand why I keep hitting dead ends. Idk I know I’m a mess

          • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
            2·
            7 days ago

            I mean, you gotta find decent people first. If I knew how to get decent people reliably I’d have a lot less trouble.

            ohh, I see

            Forgive me my misunderstanding of you earlier, this makes sense now.

            I think those are valid questions to ask, honestly. I wanna live in a world where asking someone for gender related help and stuff is totally normal. The mega is absolutely geared for that. I don’t think what you describe would be burdensome to anyone, and imo it’s on them to say so if it is. I think the whole “being a burden” framing is wrong and a bad meme though.

            You should absolutely always post, though. I encourage people to post or ask things all the time, whenever I can, both broadly as a megathread thing and specifically to encourage people to infodump and such. I love when people post, and aside from just being a place for me to yap I view the trans mega as somewhat of a support structure. I think “I’m queer and I need you to stop not texting me” slaps, to be honest. You deserve to give yourself that.