It all began with two children on Earth, both eyes squeezed shut, hands folded tightly in prayer. One was Lucy, a ten-year-old with a sharp tongue and an encyclopedic knowledge of words. The other was Max, a quiet but determined boy who practiced his spelling with such focus that every letter felt like a victory.
Each child prayed the same thing: Please, God, let me win the spelling bee.
And God heard. But not just God—Archangels Gabriel and Michael did, too.
“Lucy’s the one,” Gabriel said, convinced. “She’s got skill, and she practices every day. Max’s heart is good, but Lucy deserves the win.”
Michael shook his head, wings bristling. “Max has worked twice as hard. He might not have Lucy’s natural talent, but his devotion should be rewarded.”
God sighed. “Then perhaps both should win,” He suggested gently.
Gabriel and Michael looked horrified.
“There can only be one winner,” Gabriel insisted. “Lucy!”
“Max!” countered Michael.
The disagreement escalated, and soon the pearly gates rang with the clash of heaven’s most loyal warriors. Thunder crackled, stars tilted in their orbits, and halos slipped crookedly from heads. An entire chorus of angels divided into factions: Team Lucy versus Team Max.
As the battle waged on, God watched from His throne, bemused, until He decided enough was enough.
He raised one hand, and instantly the clouds of battle cleared, silence swept across the heavens, and every angel dropped their weapon, ashamed.
“Whoever wins,” God said, “will do so by their own merit. Do not wage war over spelling bees.”
And so, peace returned to Heaven, and on Earth, Lucy and Max faced off at the spelling bee.
In the end, neither won. They both missed a letter and went home with heads high but humbled. And in Heaven, a truce was called—but Gabriel and Michael couldn’t help but exchange a final glance.
“Next time,” Michael whispered, “I’m praying to win.”
ChatGPT spat this out.
No one asked