Breathed out a blast of dentine ice into my face. I was shocked since I thought it would smell like Tacos. That’s when she winked at me and reached into her back pocket and pulled out…
a receipt for a live capybara. She hugged me and told me we’re about to become the proud parents of a giant rodent, due to be delivered to our front door any moment now. Naturally I…
Am calm in situations like these. But given the untimeliness of it all I screamed “MOM” at the top of my lungs before I fainted on the front lawn. Once I woke up, I called my father and asked for his advice. He told me…
“Son, there comes a time in a man’s life when he must settle down and start a family. You love your children unconditionally, and bring them up right irrespective of how obnoxious they are - it’s what I did.”. This gave me pause for thought. After I hung up, I decided that…
It was time to man up and prepare to be a good father. I went to Walmart and bought a shit ton of baby clothes and barbecue sauce. When I got home, I latherd the barbecue sauce on the baby clothes and then…
The delivery man arrived with the capybara. It was a chunky once, my wife was screaming with joy. We took the capybara inside to show it around its new home. At first it hesitated, but then it started checking out its new surroundings, eventually proceeding to take a massive shit on our brand new wooly carpet. It’s at that moment that my wife started to…
…she got up without saying a word. She went straight to the bedroom and…
Took out the egg burrito she got from Tacos De La Sol De Mexico and bit into it violently. Then before she knew it…
the most disturbing gurgling noise started emerging from the depths of her bowels. She turned to me and…
Breathed out a blast of dentine ice into my face. I was shocked since I thought it would smell like Tacos. That’s when she winked at me and reached into her back pocket and pulled out…
a receipt for a live capybara. She hugged me and told me we’re about to become the proud parents of a giant rodent, due to be delivered to our front door any moment now. Naturally I…
Am calm in situations like these. But given the untimeliness of it all I screamed “MOM” at the top of my lungs before I fainted on the front lawn. Once I woke up, I called my father and asked for his advice. He told me…
“Son, there comes a time in a man’s life when he must settle down and start a family. You love your children unconditionally, and bring them up right irrespective of how obnoxious they are - it’s what I did.”. This gave me pause for thought. After I hung up, I decided that…
It was time to man up and prepare to be a good father. I went to Walmart and bought a shit ton of baby clothes and barbecue sauce. When I got home, I latherd the barbecue sauce on the baby clothes and then…
The delivery man arrived with the capybara. It was a chunky once, my wife was screaming with joy. We took the capybara inside to show it around its new home. At first it hesitated, but then it started checking out its new surroundings, eventually proceeding to take a massive shit on our brand new wooly carpet. It’s at that moment that my wife started to…