like 10 years ago i had a layover in denver and crashed on a friends couch. he had an industry grower job and we had both gone to ag school together, done a lot of work in controlled environment ag, and got to chop it up about what it was like to grow this crop as opposed to like tomatoes or greens where the fully indoor margins are fucked. he got me into his work houses by describing me as a potential hire, and then proceeded to violate all his NDAs over the next hours because, his words, “fuck these people are rich and dumb”. it’s all hilarious from an ag perspective.

anyway, he also schooled me about how all the front-of-house language had changed from the prohibition days, with its regionally specific language, and that i was officially an “old” because i just wanted a bit of “flower” or even “shake”. my own personal bit was to ask–after the barely shaving budtender goes through his whole pseudo-sommelier for tourists (that i didn’t request or want)–if they “had any mids?” to be fair, that question even used to drive one of my snobbier dealers nuts.

anyway, sales is sales. some people want the guy up in their shit trying to be the friend, but some of us just want to look and think quietly to ourselves unless we have a question. most places seem to cater to the former, because i’m sure those types close and upsell more. grateful these days that more places have websites with online listings and descriptions. but yeah, it is a lot of noise to signal. honestly, the wine/sommelier thing is my closest equivalent, because a lot of those people are remarkably full of shit. seriously, once i went through formal coursework on the chemistry and biology of viticulture and enology and worked alongside actual field researchers, it kind of reveals that a lot of that stuff is patter for the rubes who want to play discerning little lordling for the dinner table. people are just trying to get up outta their heads a little, stop trying to make it a renaissance painting.