These couches are hostile furnishings for the home. Designed with a center console that acts as a physical barrier between you and The Wife™. Complete with cup holders, motorized reclining action, and a storage compartment where you can keep your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition collection.
There is no space on this couch for any form of physical intimacy.
This is great poetry
even works as a site tagline.
Nothing would please me more then to be in the tag line rotation. Submitting it to !bestofhexbear@hexbear.net myself would be presumptuous I think.