Many years ago, I watched a documentary where they interviewed prostitutes and those said that it genuinely happens a lot that dudes come to them and just want someone to talk. Some of the prostitutes were even like, fucking random strangers is less arduous than listening to a broken man lay out his life’s troubles. That still sticks with me…
I can see how it’s easier to fuck someone than to actively listen and (at least pretend to) empathize with them. It’s easier to go without the former than the latter, as well.
Even as a man, I don’t understand my fellow men’s aversion to seeking the ear of a licensed therapist/mental health professional. Cost is a concern, I get that. I have health insurance that covers it, so I don’t have to worry about that too much. So it’s gotta be something deeper. Like an aversion to confronting oneself? I understand that. Introspection can be frightening, especially if you’re encountering parts of your psyche you’d rather weren’t there. Or maybe there’s past trauma you’d rather not unpack. But a good therapist will be in your corner. They’ll be like the healer in an RPG party, dishing out buffs and heals for you, or maybe even inflict debuffs on your inner demons.
Or, ya know, lack of trust. That’s me, woohoo. Had a lot of unworked trauma, my father obliged himself to oay for therapy. Still couldn’t do it. I trust no one, much less someone who was trained in ways of meddling with my psyche.
It took me 2 years to take him up on it, and even then I couldn’t do more than to bruteforce myself to speak, putting even more distance between me and therapist. In a way, therapy was also traumatic. And no, not therapist fault, she was a golden woman with a big heart and open mind. I just don’t trust people.
It’s not a fun or easy process to find someone you can trust to talk to. Especially when you know people that had to go through multiple professionals to find one what works for them.
Make it much easier to get in a room and use any benefits you have and it will cause a lot more people to use the services that are available to them.
If we’re all had personal assistants then this would not look the way does.
That being said there is a learned behavior that many people grew up with that doesn’t make it easy to recognize when you should actually be talking to someone. Decades and centuries of raising young men to handle their own problems. Provide and protect those in your life and who are your responsibility doesn’t leave a lot of room for going to talk about your day.
I can use an myself as an example. I’m working 10 to 12 hour days 5 days a week. another hours on saturday, leaving me 1 day a week to try to unwind.
I dont get paid overtime, and have over 200 hours of vacation unused because i get time off in lieu of(at 1to1 rate which is also bullshit)
The absolute last thing i want to be doing is talking about and reviewing and reminding me of all the shit in my life that just having my bills paid and enough left over to have some hobbies outside the house, and enough to go on vacation with all this time owed to me, not out trying to expand my thoughts to someone who doesn’t know a anything about me or my life.
Spending my precious time i have available to me sure isnt going to be spent making me feel even shittier by bringing up all garbage i have had to deal with the last while
I have a hard time communicating and it’s likely to cause me more stress trying to speak with someone about my problems than it is to listen to some really good music and go for a really long walk and smoke a joint and forget about the shit show i have to get back to.
Problem is its just money, the lack there of, that has been an issue my entire life. I make about 27 dollars an hour and can barely afford to live. Talking to a mental health progessional may be beneficial, if i get lucky and
Many years ago, I watched a documentary where they interviewed prostitutes and those said that it genuinely happens a lot that dudes come to them and just want someone to talk. Some of the prostitutes were even like, fucking random strangers is less arduous than listening to a broken man lay out his life’s troubles. That still sticks with me…
Prostitutes are cheaper than therapists in America.
Only because prostitutes don’t take insurance yet.
I can see how it’s easier to fuck someone than to actively listen and (at least pretend to) empathize with them. It’s easier to go without the former than the latter, as well.
That was even a plot point in Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Even as a man, I don’t understand my fellow men’s aversion to seeking the ear of a licensed therapist/mental health professional. Cost is a concern, I get that. I have health insurance that covers it, so I don’t have to worry about that too much. So it’s gotta be something deeper. Like an aversion to confronting oneself? I understand that. Introspection can be frightening, especially if you’re encountering parts of your psyche you’d rather weren’t there. Or maybe there’s past trauma you’d rather not unpack. But a good therapist will be in your corner. They’ll be like the healer in an RPG party, dishing out buffs and heals for you, or maybe even inflict debuffs on your inner demons.
Or, ya know, lack of trust. That’s me, woohoo. Had a lot of unworked trauma, my father obliged himself to oay for therapy. Still couldn’t do it. I trust no one, much less someone who was trained in ways of meddling with my psyche.
It took me 2 years to take him up on it, and even then I couldn’t do more than to bruteforce myself to speak, putting even more distance between me and therapist. In a way, therapy was also traumatic. And no, not therapist fault, she was a golden woman with a big heart and open mind. I just don’t trust people.
I think you are over thinking it too much.
It’s not a fun or easy process to find someone you can trust to talk to. Especially when you know people that had to go through multiple professionals to find one what works for them.
Make it much easier to get in a room and use any benefits you have and it will cause a lot more people to use the services that are available to them.
If we’re all had personal assistants then this would not look the way does.
That being said there is a learned behavior that many people grew up with that doesn’t make it easy to recognize when you should actually be talking to someone. Decades and centuries of raising young men to handle their own problems. Provide and protect those in your life and who are your responsibility doesn’t leave a lot of room for going to talk about your day.
I can use an myself as an example. I’m working 10 to 12 hour days 5 days a week. another hours on saturday, leaving me 1 day a week to try to unwind.
I dont get paid overtime, and have over 200 hours of vacation unused because i get time off in lieu of(at 1to1 rate which is also bullshit)
The absolute last thing i want to be doing is talking about and reviewing and reminding me of all the shit in my life that just having my bills paid and enough left over to have some hobbies outside the house, and enough to go on vacation with all this time owed to me, not out trying to expand my thoughts to someone who doesn’t know a anything about me or my life.
Spending my precious time i have available to me sure isnt going to be spent making me feel even shittier by bringing up all garbage i have had to deal with the last while
I have a hard time communicating and it’s likely to cause me more stress trying to speak with someone about my problems than it is to listen to some really good music and go for a really long walk and smoke a joint and forget about the shit show i have to get back to.
Problem is its just money, the lack there of, that has been an issue my entire life. I make about 27 dollars an hour and can barely afford to live. Talking to a mental health progessional may be beneficial, if i get lucky and