Remember that itās the loud ones we hear most. If a hundred people just say nothing to avoid awkwardness, a dozen correct you politely and a single one kicks up a fuss, itās the fuss you will remember.
Itās also easy to take corrections way more personally than theyāre intended. Someone saying āItās they, actuallyā isnāt an expression of offense, even if it can feel bad to be corrected (because it feels bad to be āwrongā). Compare it to bumping into someone you didnt see, who then goes āwatch outā to point out thereās someone in the way ā theyāre not necessarily upset, just informing you.
And finally, sometimes people are just irritable for whatever reason. They might not usually get offended, but for whatever reason will lash out that one time. To take the analogy of bumping into someone, perhaps their shoulder was already sore.
There certainly are some that do get offended. Some are so upset with the norms people grow up with they end up lashing out at those people instead. Some genuinely lack any understanding or patience for the other side of the issue. Some are just plain entitled. Some are looking for things to be upset at. Assholes exist in just about any sufficiently large grouping of people.
But for most Iāve known, itās really just about mutual respect, and often thereās a base assumption of respect too. We all know how hard it can be to untrain a habit, and most people donāt want unpleasantness. Donāt let the exceptions get to you.
Thank you. Iām elated to hear that most donāt get offended at genuine mistakes.
Thatās all I really needed.
Remember that itās the loud ones we hear most. If a hundred people just say nothing to avoid awkwardness, a dozen correct you politely and a single one kicks up a fuss, itās the fuss you will remember.
Itās also easy to take corrections way more personally than theyāre intended. Someone saying āItās they, actuallyā isnāt an expression of offense, even if it can feel bad to be corrected (because it feels bad to be āwrongā). Compare it to bumping into someone you didnt see, who then goes āwatch outā to point out thereās someone in the way ā theyāre not necessarily upset, just informing you.
And finally, sometimes people are just irritable for whatever reason. They might not usually get offended, but for whatever reason will lash out that one time. To take the analogy of bumping into someone, perhaps their shoulder was already sore.
There certainly are some that do get offended. Some are so upset with the norms people grow up with they end up lashing out at those people instead. Some genuinely lack any understanding or patience for the other side of the issue. Some are just plain entitled. Some are looking for things to be upset at. Assholes exist in just about any sufficiently large grouping of people.
But for most Iāve known, itās really just about mutual respect, and often thereās a base assumption of respect too. We all know how hard it can be to untrain a habit, and most people donāt want unpleasantness. Donāt let the exceptions get to you.