a lot of the time, iām either busy doing something where i literally cannot respond or overstimulated.
when iām overstimulated, i physically cannot talk or barely register what someoneās saying. i also have trouble understanding out loud speech for some reason, where iām listening but canāt process the words.
when my sister asks or says something, i often ask her to repeat it because itās a lot of information. she says something like ānever mind, you donāt care anyway, itās not importantā when i ask to be repeated.
she doesnāt care when i told her why i need it to be repeated.
she also thinks iām mad at her all the time, gets frustrated when i donāt talk (because im incapable), and starts talking badly about herself when i donāt laugh at her humor (which consists of loud screeching and tiktok ābrainrotā words)
since then, i decided to feign laughter so sheāll not think iām upset with her.
i do try to be there for my sister, but thereās times where i cannot or just canāt talk.
By taking care of her. Take initiative, propose movies / games / ice-creams whatever. Things you like, things you think sheāll like. Sheās having a hard time reaching out to you, do your best to reach out to her.
Itās not your fault, but it isnāt hers either. Try to have fun together, sheāll get to know how you work and you donāt one step at a time.
i will, thank you so much. i told her she could watch tv with me. would it be rude to tell her to stop playing screaming videos because i donāt like those videos ?
You canāt deny what she likes ; what you can do is ask her to explain: what is it about it that resonates with her? Can we sit down, turn the volume way down, and spend a few minutes checking out her favās in that style while she tells you why she likes that stuff?
(The subtlety here is not asking her to justify herself, but to explain to that out-of-the-loop, quite-geriatric Dear Bro)
Her answers donāt matter much - what matters is asking her to view the topic critically, and verbalise it that so that you āgetā that side of her.
Also, āI love you but I fucking hate that shitā can work you know.
Good luck.
Try to so something somewhat special. Maybe somewhere quiet, then you can listen to her more easily, right?
Special is anything that you donāt usually do.
No, spending time with someone means doing something you both enjoy. At least it is in my book.
My 7 year old son generally understands that when we watch TV or movies together we all pick a family show or movie to watch together, and not just whatever he wants. Or if someone vetos a suggestion you counter-offer as well.
So if she suggests brain rot, you suggest something you both might like. The Wild Robot recently came out on streaming and was a really great movie. She might like that if you are hurting for movie ideas.