In an abrupt about-face, King Charles III of the United Kingdom announced on Monday that he was downgrading Donald J. Trump’s upcoming state visit to lunch with Prince Andrew.
Instead of Windsor Castle, where the state visit was to be held, the lunch between Andrew and Trump will now occur at a Pizza Express restaurant in Woking.
According to royal sources, Andrew was “incandescent with rage” when his older brother informed him of the engagement, but the King told him, “Sorry, chap, you’ve got to take one for the team.”
After Andrew asked what he and Trump could possibly talk about over their pizza, Charles suggested, “Maybe you two can reminisce about your good times with Jeffrey Epstein.”
I am so incredibly sad this is satire. I was hoping Charles was ridiculously based.
When I realized this tasted a bit oniony, I was annoyed. Why are there so many fucking onions?
Since this wasn’t on NotTheOnion, I almost bit until I saw the meeting would happen at a Pizza Express. As funny as it would be, I think the British monarchy has way too much pride to take Donnie to the British equivalent of Dominos.
idk why though, since Trump would probably be much happier at a dinner in McDonalds than any fancy British restaurant.
The Pizza Express thing is a reference to when Prince Andrew tried to deny having sex with underage Virginia Roberts by claiming he was at a birthday party at a Pizza Express in Woking on the evening it is alleged to happen.
Oh lmao, I’d heard the two mentioned together before but never had that additional context.
And we discovered that he does not sweat.
Did the birthday party alibi in Woking turn out to be false?
No, he just paid her £12 million to keep quiet.
Ah, so no reason to suspect foul play then, it’s all settled with carrots and sticks?
The whole thing is hilarious and a well deserved slap in the face. But then King Charles adds a cherry on top with “Maybe you two can reminisce about your good times with Jeffrey Epstein”
I hope this all actually happened. I could use some levity today.
Not real. Satire. The source is a satire website.
Thanks for letting me know! It’s hard to keep track with what is real and what is fake these days.
I mean, not really, this one was incredibly obvious and I don’t understand how it’s possible to not catch it.
But there are a lot of onions being served currently.
I’ve had a sick little one at home for the past several days. I am up every two hours to give her meds and she is waking up crying in pain so I’ve been sleeping next to her so she isn’t alone. I’m sleep deprived and not 100% on the mental facilities department. So I apologize for not living up to your expectations.
Well, I certainly understand how it’s possible not to catch it in that kind of situation. I should apologize then, not you. Hope it gets better soon.
I’m sure the two will get along swimmingly.
The kiddy table. A little above Krasnov’s station at McDonald’s drive through.
A fellow pedo. Sure they’ll have a great time chatting about Epstein island and all the children they’ve abused.
One pedo for another.
Satire is dead and we killed it.
they would get along well and bond over their common interests
