• saltnotsugar@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    -The shark has every right to be there.
    -I’m not going to let fear dominate my vacation.
    -It’s just water bro!
    -Statistically you’re more likely to get mugged by a Kansas City snail on the forth of July.
    -My cousin got eaten, and he said it wasn’t even that bad.
    -Why are you always bringing up sharks and never dolphins?
    -I’ve looked into it, and basically a shark is a tuna with some additional details.

    • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      -The shark will just eat some people and then get full just as nature intended. Those people being eaten are just the natural way of dealing with sharks.

      -I’m a strong swimmer so it won’t eat me.

      -I hear the shark swam all the way from a secret lab in China making super sharks. Somehow thinking it’s been engineered to be more dangerous makes me also confident that it’s harmless and no precautions need to be taken.

      -If you inject hot sauce then your blood will be too spicy for the shark to eat.

      -I’m still going to have my annual “throw chum in the water” swim party to show just how overblown this whole thing is.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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        1 year ago

        “If you get eaten by a shark, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. What do you mean it ate your legs?”

      • ZeroCool@feddit.ch
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        1 year ago

        super sharks

        “Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a sharks fin!” - LL Cool J from the Deep Blue Sea soundtrack

      • No_Eponym@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago
        • everyone should do their own personal risk assessment of a shark attack even though we won’t tell you any live data on shark prevelance in your area.

        • we have the tools to address shark attacks, but we won’t give them to you or we will make them so expensive you can’t afford them.

        • everyone knows shark attacks are transmitted by touch, so if you get attacked you clearly didn’t wash your hands enough.

      • Daft_ish@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Shark drawn to feeding freenzy, “Awe, let me have some”

        Shark eating person who injected hotsauce into their bloodstream, “You wouldn’t like it, its spicy.”