“Do you want to deal with screaming kids, the stench and cleaning up, again?”
as someone who does yearn to bear children of her own (even though I sadly can’t), i feel like that’s a big part they skip over. it’s not all roses and moonshine (though also not always shit, I think)
sure, some might like it, others don’t. the issue isn’t the preference but the pressure to imprint what someone wants, onto someone else’s life.
a child isn’t you - it’s a person with their own life. and they have their own to decide about – that includes whether to have children of their own or not!
and that’s what those people forget when they keep begging for grandchildren. maybe if we collectively say “if you keep asking, you will not get one at all” it might work in shutting beggar grandparents up…
A good point here. They are people. Not toys, not entertainment, not entitlements…they are individuals. Mine are nearly adults now and I have always said “mom is not my identity” and god damn, that was a boundary I was punished for setting continuously.
“Do you want to deal with screaming kids, the stench and cleaning up, again?”
as someone who does yearn to bear children of her own (even though I sadly can’t), i feel like that’s a big part they skip over. it’s not all roses and moonshine (though also not always shit, I think)
sure, some might like it, others don’t. the issue isn’t the preference but the pressure to imprint what someone wants, onto someone else’s life.
a child isn’t you - it’s a person with their own life. and they have their own to decide about – that includes whether to have children of their own or not!
and that’s what those people forget when they keep begging for grandchildren. maybe if we collectively say “if you keep asking, you will not get one at all” it might work in shutting beggar grandparents up…
A good point here. They are people. Not toys, not entertainment, not entitlements…they are individuals. Mine are nearly adults now and I have always said “mom is not my identity” and god damn, that was a boundary I was punished for setting continuously.