Group X, Altarpieces, Nos. 1
Esther Rose - Wanton Way of Loving
Boulevard Montmartre - Night by Camille Pissarro / La Vie en Rose - Louis Armstrong
Tracey Chapman - Fast Car
Elvis - If I Can Dream
Huangguoshu Waterfall
Pang Xunqin - 1940
Owl on a Pine Branch (1833)
Utagawa Hiroshige
Boston Cremes (1962) - Wayne Thiebaud
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unfriendly reminder that “dude” “man” “guy” etc arent gender neutral, fuck you
I know Im so over being good called dude and being told to get over it because “I meant it gender neutral” 🙄🙄
Why is this so common? I had gotten so accustomed to hearing this excuse used for “dude” but the first time I heard it said for “man” I was flabbergasted
When I came out to my friend group, they removed “guys” from the group chat name and added “folks”. Not really necessary to me, but it’s cute
God the one that drives me insane in Australia is “mate” because I guess it can be used in a gender neutral way, like I don’t mind if a woman says it to me, and I hear cis women call each other “mate” all the time, but I can also hear it clearly when it’s not being used in a gender neutral way to me.
And it’s like that November Kelly tweet “She/Her, or They/Them if you’re angry at me”. Degendering is subtle micro-aggression designed to make you uncomfortable with plausible deniability.
I have this problem. I would unconsciously say it to people who don’t like to be called dude. Then they got used to it and also started saying dude. I think I desensitized them, but I wish I knew how to stop when people don’t like it. It’s so automatic and it’s not a slur so it’s not as motivating to quit as a slur. I use it for everyone as if it’s gender neutral word in my perspective, thanks for saying it’s not for some genderfluid people. To me it’s just a word but I should really be more considerate of other people’s application of the word.
if you walk up to a guy and say “hey look at that dude over there”. who are you walking up to? who are you saying to look at? its a man. its. a. man. you wouldnt go up to a straight guy and be like “how how many dudes have you hit on today” because its a fucking straight man, and you are asking how many men hes hit on, because it is not gender neutral. saying its gender neutral is enforcing men = default, aka enforcing the patriarchy, and enforcing misogyny. misgendering someone is slurring them. “that genocide sucks but its not affecting me at all so im not motivated to push against it” “ugh well i was using the n word as an ally, its just a word”
male privilege is so ubiquitous that it is invisible, it is so pervasive that it is completely normalized. the patriarchy is so all encompassing that the very language we speak enforces it. misogyny is so ever present its been around for centuries, if not millennia. saying you arent “motivated enough” is literally just saying “i dont care”. so as the original post said, fuck you!
saying its gender neutral is enforcing men = default, aka enforcing the patriarchy, and enforcing misogyny.
Honestly asking, how is it misogyny? For me I tolerate being called dude very easily, but it’s not like that for all genderfluid people I suppose. I guess it would bother me if someone was saying I look like a dude on a day where I only identitified as “she/her” and was dressed very femininely. But calling me dude without saying or implying that I look like one is very different. That’s fine to me.
I had both of my genders repressed, so I may be extra hungry to collect overt acknowledgement of both of my genders. I’ll have to see in the future what does and doesn’t bother me. You may be saying something useful to my own journey. Not saying this is you, for me idk if me deciding to avoid being called “dude” would be me overthinking and being too in my head.
I guess it would bother me if someone was saying I look like a dude on a day where I only identitified as “she/her.”
Why is this? It seems like it would be because you’re being called compared to a masculine noun on a day where it defies your identity. Is there really much difference between one being told they look like a dude vs being called a dude.
If it would bother you to be called a dude, then your understanding of that word doesn’t seem to be that gender neutral
I think someone saying it to say “hey, you…” to me, or “omg” or “woah” is different than when they mean “you look masculine.” Those are some of the different ways I hear the word dude. Usage matters.
I think I don’t understand genderfluidity for others in this way. I know some people that do not go by she/he pronouns exist, but I only understand having she/he/they all at once. If there are resources or experiences you guys can share about being genderfluid and not going by either she or he that’d probably help me understand a better picture of how other people’s genderfluidities can work.
Why not just say “hey, you,” “omg,” or “woah”? These are all perfectly gender neutral phrases. What we’re objecting to is using a very gendered word in place of gender neutral phrases and pretending like the word suddenly becomes gender neutral. Dude is a gendered word, and using it in place of gender neutral phrases, especially to someone who is not a dude, is exactly what is meant by “man by default” language
Is “man by default” language always misogynist? Is it because it erases the possibility that something could be gender neutral or feminine? Therefore erasing gender identity that isn’t masculine?
To be clear, it’s not bad to like being called dude, or to be okay with people using it for you. Your preferences are your preferences. What is bad is you yourself using it in a gender neutral way to refer to people who are not dudes.
I, for example, am not gender fluid. I spend 100% of my time identifying as a woman. There is no situation in which I would not object to being called dude, and an insistence that it’s actually okay to call me dude (a masculine gendered word) because it’s supposedly gender neutral, is incredibly frustrating.
you are a deeply unserious person.
No, I’m seriously trying to understand for those who’ll bear with me.
Honestly asking, how is it misogyny?
Words intended to and frequently being used specifically for males are often generalized to be “inclusive” of women by simply making the male-term a “gender-neutral” option. Dude, guy, bro, fireman, etc. Its pretty much never the opposite direction and it would be considered insulting to call man a “firewoman”, but not the other way around. The tendency for this clearly is based on misogyny.
Do you think being “color-blind” means you aren’t racist?
Also I’m going to dinner with a few coworkers tonight. All four of us are some flavor of trans or nb but two of us haven’t told one of the others yet, so I have to wonder if she has any clue what this is about… But then again she sits just over from my cubicle and I’m not always subtle when I talk about it with my deskmate so perhaps she suspects. We’ll find out!
cis ppl should consider loving us while were alive instead of posting platitudes once we arent
Cis people are evil and supremacist
if this was a post and not a megathread comment there would be at least 5 cis people being like “ougghh not all cis people are bad ur so cisphobic” completely unironically and i find that very sad
cisphobia is one of the 5 infinity gems of forbidden phobias that aren’t real, actually, but all cissies act like it’s the worst thing since chattel slavery
I actually don’t believe cis people are real and people who make a whole big identity around being “cis” are just doing it for attention
EDIT: for realz tho, I believe there is very broad and diverse spectrum of gender and everyone has a place somewhere on it. I don’t think anyone is really “100% cis” and the whole concept strikes me as rigid gender absolutism that has no bearing in reality.
Cis people? More like PISS people amirite
truth
It’s so swag to be going through my day and knowing the E in my body is reaching heretofore unseen levels
I’ve moved into the new place!!! I get to sleep in a place of my own omg. I have a rooooooom with a spot for my computer and a windowwwwwww and I get to go for walks like I used to ughfjsoajdiskdbeodnxn
yayyyyy
back in my cis days i could never imagine taking a nude selfie of any of my body parts, but these days i do be takin quite a few pics and sendin em around to consenting individuals ofc
lmao i went from wincing looking in the mirror to my nudes taking up 60% of my camera roll. it’s great being a slut
Im happy to send a cheeky shot showing off my decollatage but I still have no interest in taking nudes lol, I still don’t really care about receiving them either. Never had that part of my brain installed
some days i wonder if biggs clocked me as an egg
24 hours later the tits remain hidden. I was kinda surprised as at one point I didn’t have any clean clothes so I was just wearing my mom’s bathrobe and I thought they looked kinda obvious? But nope
Although oddly enough there was another close call where she wanted some of my extra semaglutide syringes to use for my dog’s insulin injections. Only I didn’t have that many left over because I haven’t ordered in a while and I told her so. Then she asked me if I was doing drugs or something because apparently I was acting cagey?? Of course I, the recently injected with estradiol “boy”, said no.
It’s gonna be tough when I move, I’ll need to make sure they don’t run into my makeup or HRT. I might ask a friend to hold on to it for a couple days…
I keep losing my health insurance and having to reapply every 2 months. I haven’t had new T vials for months (using old ones, I’ve officially ran out as of last week) and I haven’t been able to take my antidepressants nor my adhd medication regularly. I got approved again on November 3rd… but have to wait till December 1st for it to even fucking activate. I wish I didn’t have all this mental shit and didnt have to rely on pills to function. Being human sucks bruh I did not ask for this shit! And ESO just crashed while I was waiting for a world boss to spawn I’m gonna crash out 😔😔
That sucks. I would be unhappy about running out of E like that. I’m not sure if you’re in a position to do this, but people have been known to diy T vials in situations like yours.
Honestly it’s pretty low importance on my list of things to deal with just cuz I’m stealth/pass and don’t have much dysphoria anymore, so it’s more tedious than anything. I’ll be able to pick up 2 months worth on December 1st though which is good. I’ve been able to do my shot as usual, just won’t be able to until then. I’m more annoyed at insurance being such a disaster and totally lacking any semblance of efficiency. It never even explain why I sporadically lose it. Ugh.
Being beautiful (some of the time, at least), and loving myself is so cool.
I’m gonna get even hotter just to mog all the cissies. Cissies literally can’t be as hot as me, I am a Goddess who has overcome all their little rules, they literally can’t compete
Transgender, they could never make me hate you.
Now cisgender, though…
I fucken hate cars
I love all of you
