Idk why the fuck around this time of year my brain starts caving in on itself. Spring to autumn im ok then it hits the end of the year then jan/feb i just implode. Then come march april i start being ok again.
I just cant be fucking doing this every year do i need to book a holiday to fucking eyebeefa in winter like all my gammony peers? Im sick of the memories of my life being staring at grey skies why does it hurt me so bad? Its stupid? Why does a grey sky make me sad?
Its like i need a constant feed of valium for 6 months a year im like burning half my life away feeling miserable because its not sunny i cant live like this


I got mine a gazillion years ago and they don’t make them anymore, it’s a Nature Bright Per3. I don’t recommend any current Nature Bright lamps, but look that one up to get an idea - it’s a small bedside table style lamp with a clock, sunrise/alarm feature, and one of those articulated swiveling heads like a reading lamp. Each of those details (clock, alarm, swivel) is great, look for something like that. It also needs to be 10,000 lux, but now that LEDs are cheap and everywhere, that should be easy.
And yes, the operative thing is that they’re obnoxiously bright. They’re supposed to be as bright as the sun (if they’re 2 feet away and the sun is its usual distance away). Ideally it’s pointing into your eyes at an angle for 30 minutes while you’re doing something. Some people say first thing in the morning, others say as close to noon as possible. Regardless, because you want to aim it at yourself from a specific distance at an angle, some sort of pivot head is a very good idea.
I’ll give my current one another chance and look around for others. Thanks for the advice! My current desk lamp is quite dim i could probably make use of it that way and point it at the wall to get a lot more light
Oh yeah, pointing my sunlamp at a wall is easily enough light to see the whole room by. Handy.
Just tried this and using my dimmer lamp next to my bed and it honestly feels better already. Idk why artificial light only works if its pointed at a wall otherwise it makes me feel gross. Like ceiling bulbs make me feel exposed for some reason… just autism things.